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Envy. Jealousy. Comparison. I recently had an eye-opening conversation with some friends about envy. All of us have experienced it and suffered through the effects, each to varying degrees. Some of us let it cripple, some of us let it rule but we all try to fight back. None of us have to live in it.  "Comparison is the thief of all joy." I'll admit that I don't know who said it, but the first time I heard this astute observation, I couldn't believe how succinct it was. It's true. I've been robbed of being the happy friend, the content daughter, and the mom at peace - all by my own mind. Did you know that comparison can also rob you of your generosity? This...

Insecurities With Age

Vanity is something I was kind of born into. My mother was a very vain person. She never went without makeup, fixed hair and every piece of jewelry she owned. Her body was her prized possession and she took really good care of it. I was taught that your brain gets you places but your looks can take you even farther. Never eat two starches at dinner and never leave the house without sunless tanner are a couple of things that I was taught pretty early on. Looking back through photos of me as a young adult, I think I was attractive. I might not have been stunning, but I felt pretty comfortable with myself. I've lost weight and gained...
I’m a full-time mom. A full-time wife. A full-time friend. Sister. Sister-in-law. Cousin. Daughter. Daughter-in-law. Co-worker. The list goes on. It’s a lot of hats to wear, especially when you aren’t able to take one off. I don’t always feel the weight of everything I do, but sometimes, it hits me like a ton of bricks. And usually, it’s in the form of guilt. How did I miss a good friend’s birthday? Am I absent in my sibling’s lives and is it my fault? Did I really need to yell when my daughter spilled her milk?  Guilt. It creeps in every day and in every form. Sometimes small and sometimes big, but it’s always there in some form or fashion. It’s something that...
6:15. It's time. My eyes peep open, and I can see the light blue of the morning sky through the window. I have to try harder today. I will. I will try harder than yesterday. I will do better. Coffee warms my bones, and I begin to perk up. The morning still feels so daunting, despite the promise I made to myself when I got up. I go through the motions of dressing kids, signing papers for school, getting myself dressed but I want so badly to crawl back into that bed, turn out every light and sleep it all away.  Instead, I eagerly wash down the pills I always hope will magically take this from me, but instead they just...
My older son will be 4 years old in a week and, like so many parents, each year I find myself looking back at pictures and reflecting on his birthday. What does his birthday mean to us? How has this day impacted us? How have we spent every birthday before this one? In June of 2014 we got the exciting news that we were expecting our first child. We went through the first half of our pregnancy thinking everything was perfect. At my 20 week anatomy scan, we were told that our son had a two vessel umbilical cord. Most babies have three blood vessels: one vein, which brings nutrients from the placenta to the baby, and two arteries that...

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