I am a work from home mom. I also work from my car, the bath, in between “My Little Pony” movies, at the gym (if I make it), and everywhere in between. When I was pregnant, I saw the cost of childcare. I was flabbergasted and thought, I will just work from home. I thought it would be that simple. I realize that many others think it is just that easy too. You see my feed with playtimes and scheduling playdates. You don’t realize that I am just trying to make sure that my child gets some resemblance of playtime and I can tune out to answer calls. You don’t know that those pictures happen because I don’t want you to know that I cry in the bathtub or when I wake up because I am so tired.
My husband is gone 50% of my family’s life. He’s a pilot and when he’s gone, he’s gone. This means the girls and I work on a 50/50 schedule and two different set of norms. It means I stack work on the weeks he’s home and work from Chick-fil-A, play places, and anywhere I can bring my toddler with me when he’s not. I stay up till the wee hours of the morning scheduling e-mails to go out and hitting deadlines, but yet I still hear from other moms “Well some of us have to work,” when I talk about our trips to play places and beyond during the day. It stings a little every time.
This sting has obviously stuck with me to the point that now it’s a punch. The hustle, exhaustion, and ultimate burn out you don’t see. Currently I run a small marketing and PR firm, do custom paintings for clients, and I am launching a skincare company in two different markets. I am super fortunate to be successful and will give something up as life permits. The hustle now is stronger as I pivot from one industry to the next; I know that this phase will pass. So as I take you on two days of my life (a typical day when my husband is not home and a day when he is) know that I see the light. I see how lucky I am. I just want you to know that mompreneur isn’t just a cute hashtag, it’s a hustle just like yours.
Husband on tour :: typical work day (in town)
6:30am – Birdie wakes me up by staring at me weirdly from the side of my bed.
6:40-7:15am – I try to squeeze in 30-40 more minutes of sleep by putting on a cartoon or movie.
7:15-7:40am – Breakfast, e-mails, lunch packed, take a call while washing dishes and pray the person on the other end doesn’t hear the water running.
7:40-8:30am – Get dressed between the multiple costume changes of a toddler. Argue about seasonally appropriate clothing. Manage to swipe some mascara on and bribe her with something so I can just pee in peace for 5 minutes.
8:30-8:45am – Start the daily struggle to put on shoes and get in the car. Realize the dog is still out and coax him inside with a treat. Lock door (I think). Head out. Realize we forgot something and pull back in the driveway, head out again.
9:00am – Out of the carpool for MDO program (on the days we don’t have this, it’s off to Java Mama or Chick-fil-A).
9:30am – 12:30pm – Cram an 8 hour day into 3 hours and pray Birdie takes a nap because I didn’t get finished.
12:30-1pm – Carpool line e-mails, phone calls, scheduling, etc.
1:30pm – Arrive back at house and attempt to snack, play, and prepare for nap.
2:30pm – Begin nap struggle
3:30pm – Naptime! Sit down to answer e-mails and finish a project.
3:40pm – 12 year old walks in the door hungry, not ready to do homework, and all around pre-teen
4:15pm – Stacks of homework and an assignment pad to go through.
4:45pm – Sit back down and try to figure out where I was in e-mails and projects.
4:46pm – Toddler awake from nap hungry and wanting to go outside and play. Squeeze in 1o minutes more of work while toddler sits on my lap or colors my planner.
5:30-9pm – Dinner, general home destroying, tons of playing, trying to answer the influx of text messages and questions about work sent today. Phone ringing. Pre-teens mom arriving to pick her up. Bath time. Put toddler down.
9:30pm – I get bathed and wish I could go climb in bed.
10pm-2am – Answer all the e-mails and work on graphics for new campaign. Schedule posts, look at tomorrow. Plan the trip to Houston and launch parties. Feel an immense amount of guilt that I didn’t pay enough attention to my girls and that I cut my husband (or friend) off on the phone.
2-6:30am – Sleep. Rinse. Repeat.
Husband home :: typical work day (in town)
6:30am – Birdie wakes me up by staring at me weirdly from the side of my bed.
6:40-7:15am – I try to squeeze in 30-40 more minutes of sleep and hubs takes toddler downstairs and gets oldest ready for school.
7:15-8:00am – E-mails and lunch packed
8:00-8:40am – Take shower and possibly look presentable before I leave the house for a day of meetings.
9am – Aim to leave the house. When my husband is in town, I schedule all client meetings and conference calls.
9-4pm – Back to back meetings on various sides of town.
5pm-7pm – Usually return home to cook dinner and eat with family. Try to stay in my lane as the step-parent and not overstep my boundaries. This is a struggle for me. I have mentioned it before here.
7:15-9pm – Hop on all conference calls that I can.
9pm – Realize I have missed all family time and guilt commences.
9:30pm – Bath maybe, bed maybe*, more work till midnight maybe**
*10:00pm – If my hubs and I climb in bed, I try to muster the energy to be intimate or cuddle or even have an adult conversation.
**10:00-Midnight – Work on e-mails, deadlines, etc that I didn’t wrap up during the day. Start new projects because I have help this week.
I see you.
So to my mamas working out of the home and from home, I see you. I see your guilt that is too heavy for you to carry. I see you crying when you drop your child off or because you snapped for no reason. I see you not eating breakfast and praying they don’t eat all their dinner so you can snag a fry because you forgot to cook something for you. I see you, Mama. I know you are doing the best you can. You Mama, you’re my people. So if you want to work together as we utilize that Chick-fil-A playplace and free wifi for hours on end, let me know. I’m here.
