The Low Down (and Dirty) of Being a Mom of 2 or More Kids

I am a mom of four young kids. I do not consider myself an expert by any means but I am all kids all the time. So I decided to write about some things you may or may not know about having 2 or more kids under one roof!

1. The Screaming::

It’s loud all the time and if it isn’t-someone is doing something they should not be doing! There is screaming outside, inside, at each other, at themselves, in the shower, and in the bathtub! They scream because someone looks at them or someone touches their toys. They scream when they’re mad or when they’re happy, they scream when they are sad! They scream for any and everything. All. The. Time.

2. The Laundry::

You will NEVER, let me repeat NEVER be caught up on laundry! You can wash all day every day and there will ALWAYS be something else that needs to be cleaned. Washed the sheets? Guess what…someone will wet the bed at nap time! Wash car seat covers? Guess what…someone will puke on them tomorrow! All the clothes are washed…it rains and everyone is covered in mud! YOU WILL NEVER BE CAUGHT UP ON LAUNDRY!

3.The Dirty Talk::

The word poop, fart, burp, butt, or pee is coming out of someone’s mouth every minute of every day. I had never in my life heard those words as many times as I have as a mother of 4 kids(and I’ve been a nurse for 13 years)! Someone is talking about poop or farting and someone else is giggling. They are SCREAMING (see number one) those words in the grocery store or school or maybe even church! The jokes never get old, they almost get funnier as the day goes on.

4. The Toys::

They never go away. There will always be a toy on your floor, on your counters, in your shower, or even in your coffee. You can pick up the entire house while people nap and within 5 minutes of them waking, there will be more toys under your feet. Your house will never be picked up again…it’s kind of like the laundry!

5. The Car Rides::

Have you ever taken a ride in one car with 4 small kids? My best advice…DON’T (kidding,*mostly*)! You have to get creative and prepare a seating chart in advance so that no one is within touching range. If they can touch each other…there will be screaming!!! Distractions…movies, coloring books, music, letter and number games. These things will be the only thing that keeps you sane in the car!

6. You. Are. Outnumbered. For. The. Rest. Of. Your.  Life::

Once the third kid comes along-there is no more “Man on Man Defense.” Things get crazy and FAST! They know you’re weak at this point and it’s like when a lion sees an injured gazelle. They pounce and they will eat you alive!!!

7.The Looks (and Comments) from the Peanut Gallery::

I cannot even begin to count how many times I’ve gotten glared at on an outing with my crew. People think kids should be so well behaved and quiet. See above…number 1…they are NEVER quiet, EVER! People give you looks and they also feel the need to ask you questions like “you do know how this happens, right?” And comments like “boy, you sure have your hands full!” You have to have a tough exterior to have multiple kids and to actually venture out with them in public!

8.The Energy::

If I had half the energy of one of my kids, I could rule the world. They literally move from the second they wake up to the second they close their eyes. It’s like a Willy Wonka Gobstopper…it lasts forever and ever!

9.Bath Time::

Bath time at our house is like washing an elephant in the tub. You can fill the tub up or just put about an inch high of water but you better believe your bathroom will be soaked from ceiling to floor either way. Bath time is almost magical-you get to experience so many of the things I speak about above…all in one timeframe. They scream, they wet down the rugs (which means you have something new to wash), they talk about poop and pee and butts, and water increases the power of their energy!

10.Bed Time::

Legit, my favorite part of the day! If you can get to this time of the day without a complete meltdown of one or all of your kids at least once a week…you can call yourself a parent! Bedtime at our house is just like herding cattle. We start with the youngest and work our way up! And when the house is finally quiet…we take a deep breath and try to get to sleep as soon as possible because you never know just how long you will have before one of them wakes up!!!

How accurate is this list? Where are my fellow multiple kid parents at and what should be added to this list?

1 COMMENT

  1. Love this list! Don’t forget the sneaking of food to the youngest kid, teaching the power of sharing and how insane/blessed we are to help these little people grow.

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