I Promise I Don’t Love My Daughter More

I am the proud mom of three. I have two boys and one girl. My boys are bookends, and my girl is sandwiched right in the middle. (Birth order struggles) No, seriously it’s quite a perfect order for me. 

I love all of my babies.

They each bring something unique to our family, but it seems I favor hanging out with my daughter more. {gasp!} 

I honestly wasn’t aware until one day, I was looking through my Instagram and noticed my daughter and I had significantly more pictures than my boys and me. I became a little worried (the perfectionist mom that I am) that I wasn’t giving the boys enough attention. I started to think of how the world must think I don’t love my boys. I mean, in the movement of “boy moms,” I felt all the mom shame. 

I started taking the boys with me more often to run errands and tried to wrestle them down to watch tv with me more frequently. This was a drastic mistake! My boys hate Fixer Upper and Hallmark. They do NOT love going to the mall for leisurely shopping or coffee shops to have great talks. (My daughter loves these things.) I realized that most of the time I spend with my boys, we are doing things that they like. Active things. They move much faster and just don’t pause for photo ops very often. My daughter and I; however, will find joy in a pint of ice cream and Fixer Upper reruns. The mall gives us LIFE! We don’t go more than a couple hours without taking a selfie when we are together. It’s just the nature of our relationship. 

I have accepted that social media may never know the depths of my relationship with my boys. And that’s just fine. I connect with my teen in deep meaningful life talks and quick basketball games. For my toddler, it’s our frequent snuggles and daily games of 20 questions. (Never met a child with more questions.)

To the world, it may seem I love my daughter more because that’s the reality they see. But I’m okay with knowing for myself, that all my children are getting what they need, from the mom THEY need.

I am enough for each of them.

Strong willed and determined since a little girl, this mom of three, wife, worship leader, writer, and career woman, believes dreams come true if you do the work. Nikyla hails from St. Louis, Mo, the “show me” state. She is a graduate of Louisiana State University and Southern University. She is a certified teacher and currently teaches at Louisiana Connections Academy. Her time out of the office is filled with family, friends and faith. She adores her three children Kyre, K’mya, and Kris and has been married to her childhood sweet heart Remiah Trask for fourteen years. Nikyla is currently a worship leader at Anchor Chapel in Baton Rouge. She has always been passionate about the things she sets her mind to. Her story of victory over severe anxiety disorder, after her third child, is truly one you must hear to believe. It will transform the way you view people with mental illness and even the way you view yourself. She is the founder of the mental health campaign entitled Be Brave. Writing has become a form of therapy for her, and the stories she shares are always honest, heartfelt, and transparent. Read more of Nikyla’s Brave Blogs here.


  1. This was an excellent read… social media paints a picture that we tend to just believe… but this brought me back to reality that there is real life beyond social media…


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