most all moms, I’m guilty of providing visually-stimulating entertainment to my child in the form of television shows. Those 15 minutes of freedom that my kiddo stays glued to the TV buy me precious moments to shower, do chores or for Heaven’s sake use the bathroom ALONE! I swear there must be deeply embedded subliminal messages in these shows that can stop an active child dead in their tracks and keep them quiet and safely occupied for 15-20 minutes. But why, oh why, must some of the television shows geared toward children be so terribly annoying?! Every mom has her list but yet still allows her kids to watch these aggravating shows (often on repeat) because those few minutes of peace are really so worth it.
So, without further ado…here is my list of children’s television shows that, to me, are the equivalent of nails scraping down a chalk board:
Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood-A creepy animated throw back to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, this show totally confuses me (since I grew up in the days of Mr. Rogers). I’m not even sure of the connection between an animated tiger and good ole’ Mr. Rogers. Daniel and his family are so nauseatingly positive and have a catchy jingle for all of his joyful messages. These little jingles will be stuck in your head for days and when they finally go away, the same episode will come back on and…here we go again.
Bubble Guppies-Like a cartoon version of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea this show is super happy, bubbly and bright. The icing on the cake is that my daughter likes to view this show late in the evening just before bed time when I have already well met my daily limit of happy, bubbly and bright. I’m never really sure of the message being taught as I can’t get past the rap-like vocals and the weird hair and unusual names of the characters. I mean really, who goes to school underwater and still goes “outside” for recess.
Calliou-Seriously, Calliou really must be the whiniest kid on the planet. I truly loath the sound of his voice. And really, no family unit is as perfectly pleasant as Calliou’s family. The calm perfection of Calliou’s parents just makes me want to scream. Calliou always seems to have difficulty overcoming the internal struggle of whether or not he wants to be a baby or a kid. And the weirdest, most annoying feature of this melodrama is Calliou’s overly tiny, oddly placed ears (I know you’ve thought the same if you’ve EVER seen an episode).
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse-Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog! This show drives me to the brink of insanity. My daughter often asks me what kind of animal Toodles is and I have no answers. I also really hate how the mousekatools alway work to solve the current problem. In my opinion, I think it really gives kids a terribly poor example of what real life is like. I’d really like to see an episode where the mystery mousekatool didn’t work out and just like in real life, Mickey and friends would have a problem they couldn’t solve. Take that, Disney, Jr.
Anything Elmo-Most often, cleverly disguised within an episode of Sesame Street, Elmo pops out of no where with his zany little stories. My daughter went through a pretty intense (luckily short-loved) Elmo phase. Her little face would light up at just the sight of Elmo in the opening credits of Sesame Street. Elmo is quite possibly the worst model of grammar, and I cannot bear to listen to him refer to himself in third person in his overly nasal voice; really it makes my skin crawl. To add insult to injury, I really loath when a baby makes an appearance in Elmo’s world and the baby monster speaks in “baby talk.” Goodness it is so annoying!
Despite my general hatred for these shows, I can promise they will still be viewed on my family’s television (probably recording on my DVR as I type) so mommy can stay showered and sane. Maybe there is a mousekatool that could help with this little predicament.