Dating After 40
When I was 16 I had my first crush on Johnathan, who became my boyfriend. We were so cute as a couple. We stayed up all night on the phone, held hands in class, ate together for lunch, and then it happened, my very first fantasy. That we were going to get married after college, have two kids and live in a house with a white picket fence. We were so in love, and no one could tell me that we were meant for each other, then a tragic accident happened, and he passed away before we graduated. The fantasy never went away, as I got older it became a desire for me to get married. Throughout college, I didn’t date much and when I did, I could never find the one who made my heart skip a beat.
It wasn’t until 4 years ago, when my son who was 5 at that time said while I was driving him to school, “Mommy it’s time for you to get a husband because you are so pretty, and I need a daddy at home.” I was very shocked when he said that and confused how he understood what it meant. But my response was “Mais that is something we must pray to God for. And he said, “OK Mom let’s pray now. Dear God, we love you so much can you please send my mom a good husband so I can have a daddy and get a sister and a brother. Thank you. In Jesus name Amen.” I taught Maison that every time you end a prayer in Jesus name it will be done, but at that moment I was kind of like Jesus can you omit the second part.
Fast forward to now – here I am – 46 years old and a single mother, and the fantasy has awakened, and I am ready to get married. But oh, how it is so much scarier, complex and challenging than it was 30 years ago. You really do not know who you will get as a man, regarding personality and character. There are so many things that I am so out of touch with. There are now dating apps, social media platforms and speed dating games to help you connect with someone to love and share life with. I am an old schoolgirl. It is so hard for me to get into the millennium groove of dating. And it was so overwhelming that I just got discouraged and didn’t even try. Instead, I wondered what happened to when your friends would hook you up with someone, or maybe meeting someone at the grocery store, and even at Church.
A few months ago, my sister and I were talking about life.
I shared with her how I always wanted to be married, live on a ranch and have a big family. She said, “Sis it’s not too late, there is someone for everybody, but you must get out of your comfort zone and try the dating apps.” I felt myself getting very anxious and overwhelmed with the rush of what if thoughts, and fears of rejection. I went home and did an inventory list of myself to make sure I was even ready for a relationship yet alone get married. Also created a list of what type of man that I would like to meet. I had a talk with my son about how Mommy is ready to start dating and get married. And lastly, I created a dating profile on Facebook dating.
To my surprise, there are a lot of single men who are out here looking for love!
I met some that were strange and interesting, but no one who really caught my attention. Until, one month ago, when I met someone who is very kind, supportive, respectful, humorous, thoughtful and he enjoys some things that I do. We are both family oriented, love kids and love cooking. He is an awesome communicator and listener. He is an entrepreneur, and the best part is that he always wanted to live on a ranch. Our first date was Mother’s Day and we had a great time. Not expecting anything, he brought me a beautiful gift. When the weather was bad, he checked in on us to make sure we were safe and did not need anything.
