Dropping The Circus Act :: Letting Go Of Having It All
So many times, I have found myself basing my success as a mom on whether or not the world thought I had everything under control. My life looked like I was a circus performer, running around trying to keep all the plates spinning in unison. My job, my children’s social life, my marriage, the orderliness of my home, and my children’s happiness were plates spinning above my head all day. As long as the plates never stopped and came crashing to the ground, I was a successful mom.
However, doing this circus act was just that…an act. A show put on for others. It was an act to seem like my ducks were all in a row when, in reality, it was a chaotic mess behind the curtain some days. The crushing weight of having to appear to have my life in complete balance started to feel unimportant.
I had to rewire my brain that my value as a mom, wife, and friend was not tied to whether or not the world thought I had my life in order. It was based on how I felt at the end of the day. Keeping all the plates spinning daily meant I was always worn out. I was always meeting the minimum and never giving my all to anyone or anything. I realized it was better to surround myself with people I could be honest with and did not need to perform in front of.
Enough is Enough
Therefore, I decided that some plates just needed to slow down, and some needed to break completely.
So now, the dishes sit in the sink, and we eat cereal for dinner. My children have iPad time, beds go unmade, and I turn the dryer on and re-fluff the clothes that were washed two days ago. I say no to extra obligations that do not bring me joy and yes to more board games and movie nights with my family.
I still keep some of the plates spinning, but no longer am I trying to keep up with the guise that I have my life all figured out and balanced, and I’ve never been happier.
I do have enough. I have a roof over my head, a supportive partner, good friends, and happy children, which is perfect enough for me.
