Ten Truths to Being a Mom of Three or More

As a mom of four I’ve come to find a certain set of “truths” to this crazy hustle called motherhood and doing so with three or more kids brings on a whole new set of ’em.  So, I figured I’d share them and maybe give you a chuckle…or two.

Sidenote to parents-to-be or parents with one or two at this point: don’t let these truth bombs scare you away. Read on through, there’s a light at the end of this tunnel.

10 Truths to Being a Mom of Three or More

1. Remembering BIRTH DATES is like memorizing all 50 states and capitals for Mr. Woodward in tenth grade. I think my kids’ doctor’s office knows exactly who I am when I call based on the long pause followed by an even longer “uuummmmm” before I spit out the correct birthday. Figure yourself out a jingle, it’ll work wonders.

2. A week’s worth of GROCERIES is the equivalent to most people’s car notes. I feel like recently, I’ve stopped making big grocery hauls simply to avoid the sticker shock of that entire grocery cart filled to the brim. Seriously y’all, when I walk in the door I feel like I’m bringing in the day’s hunt for a bunch of baby dinosaurs.

3. PLAYDATES are like the big scary monster that lurks under your bed at night when you were a kid. They seriously stress me out. The thought of taking them all out in public, clearly outnumbered is beyond overwhelming. From personal experience, putting on your game face and heading out that door with bags packed for the day … convincing yourself that you were made for this makes it a little easier. Until your three-year-old decides the park he begged to go to, he actually wants nothing to do with resulting in a tantrum that’ll send Super Nanny into a closet to hide.

4. FINDING A SITTER to watch them all is like finding the hidden picture in the Magic Eye with one eye. You basically call a handful of sitters and split the kiddos up accordingly. 

5. A CLEAN HOUSE. Ha! That’s funny.

6. There are NAPS but somehow they manage to plan them so that they are never all asleep at the same time. When you do actually get the joy of everyone napping at the same time, it’s only for like five minutes because you’ve done something dumb like think the baby isn’t breathing and go check on him … resulting in a now, awake baby.

7. BATH TIME. Don’t get the genius idea to put on your thinking cap and bathe them all together. Just. Don’t.

8. If there is SILENCE, something in your house is probably broken or covered in glitter glue or burned. Or maybe even a makeshift slip-n-slide on your kitchen floor with your last bit of butter, #truestory.

9. The TV is on Disney or Nick Jr. from sun up to sun down, no matter if the kids are at home or not. It’s weird, don’t judge.

10. It’s the most entertaining, loud, unorganized, half-bathed, sometimes half-dressed, hectic, CRAZY-BEAUTIFUL RIDE you’ll ever be on … and it’s something I would do over and over again. <<<<because you know I had to get sappy.