Thriving After Separation
I’m a newly separated mom. The choice to be so wasn’t easy, in fact, I contemplated the idea for far longer than I’d like to admit. It’s hard to step out of our comfort zones. Especially ones we’ve been in so long. Do I regret it? No. It’s been a blessing for my mental health. Is it hard? Most definitely. I’ve had to learn how to navigate through life with the stigma of being a single mom and as we all know, sometimes that can be a challenge.
While my journey has just started, I thought I’d share some wisdom.
Lean on your support group!
Most people want to help when you’re going through a breakup but they don’t know how. Let your friends and family watch the kids while you get some much needed me time. Let them take you out to dinner to get your mind off of things. Let them be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, or to vent.
Find a way to let your emotions out.
You don’t have to be strong all the time. Talking to a therapist, journaling your feelings, screaming along to sad songs in the car. Anything you can do to let yourself have space to grieve the relationship will help. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to not be okay for a while.
Find a hobby.
Get back to being you. Find space in yourself to try something you’ve always wanted to try.
Get out of the house.
Have fun with friends. Go see a movie, go get a drink (or mocktail!). Don’t stay stuck inside. If you have reliable childcare, use it.
Deep clean that house!
This is so therapeutic. Make your home your own. Whether you’re just getting settled into your own place or got to stay in the family home. Decorate it how YOU like. Surround yourself with things that make YOU happy. Purge and get rid of things that don’t.
Breakups are hard. Divorce is hard. Co-parenting is hard. Do what you need to do to get through this tough time. Your healing journey is your own. Go at your own pace. Eventually, you’ll learn to appreciate all that being single has to offer.
