Can Your Marriage Survive (And Even Thrive) During Social Distancing?

When the Governor first issued the stay-at-home order over a month ago, I was honestly excited. The romantic in me had dreams of the fun we would have as a family and the memories we would make. I pictured picnics, daily walks, and lots of laughter. After approximately three days of our entire family being stuck at home together, those idyllic hopes went out the window. The passive aggressive comments and side eyes started to flow, and I could feel the tension. It was clear that we had to figure out a way to adjust to this new normal, or we would not all survive this quarantine.

Even though my husband and I are both home, we still have to balance full-time jobs, taking care of the kids and keeping the house in a livable state. We also have to find time for each other. We are big believers that you have to have a strong marriage in order to keep everything else running smoothly. This situation is no different. We have to figure out ways to adjust as a couple. I’m sharing four tips to surviving quarantine with your partner in hopes that other husbands and wives can benefit.

Keep Your Regular Date Nights

Consistent dates nights have always been something we anticipate. We are able get out of the house, away from the kids, and focus on us. Obviously, this is no longer possible. However, we are still trying to carve out time for the two of us that differs from our normal routine. Once a week we put the kids to bed early and have an at-home date night. We might cook a nice meal and open a bottle of wine, watch a movie or sit outside and enjoy a cocktail and snacks. Our latest obsession is game night where we go head-to-head at Jackbox Games.

Learn Your Partner’s New Love Language

Like many couples, when my husband and I were engaged, we took a marriage prep class through our church. During the class, we took the Five Love Languages quiz. When we hit rough patches, I always think about this quiz and if we are doing what we can to meet each other’s needs. The more I think about it, I realized that in this new season of life, we probably have different needs. We have used one of our date nights to re-take the quiz, and it is no surprise that BOTH of our love languages have changed. Now when I’m stressed, my husband realizes that I don’t want a sweet note telling me how much he appreciates me like I did in the past. Instead, he can do some acts of service and help out around the house a little more…my current love language!

Split the Household and Kid Responsibilities

We’ve always had a great system when it comes to the kids and chores, but that is no longer working. It’s hard being home with three kids, having to work and taking care of the house. In order to prevent resentment, we have come to an understanding that things need to change, and we both have to step up in ways we normally don’t. The key is being flexible and helping out any way we can. When he is on a conference call, I keep the screaming kids at bay. When I’m trying to meet a deadline, he takes on more household chores. Most days, we’re simply in survival mode, and it’s nice to know we can count on each other.

Cherish This Time Because Life Will Go Back to Normal Sooner

Than We Think

As difficult as this new normal is, I choose to find the silver lining and be thankful for this extra time with my husband and kids. These are some of the best days of our lives, and I’m soaking them in. I know we will be back to the hustle and bustle of real life before we know it, and I will miss this time.

Like most great things, marriage is hard work. It’s not always like that scene from your favorite romance movie or the fairy tale you may have envisioned as a child. There are days we get it all wrong and go to bed in a bad mood. There are days the house is a disaster, and the kids stress us out. But for better or worse, we are in this together. Truth be told, there is no one I’d rather be safe at home with than my husband and kids.