Saying Goodbye to Childhood Things and Embracing Your New Teen

Saying Goodbye to Childhood Things and Embracing Your New Teen

It’s been coming, the old dolls and stuffed animals placed in trash bags for Goodwill, the hormones and body changes, the anxiety and mood swings, the teen years coming in like a wrecking ball to completely uproot everything you know. Everything is changing and you have to change with it.    

It’s OK to Mourn the Childhood Version of Them

I have to admit I get really teary eyed seeing the toys and the princess costumes put aside for good. I have to let myself mourn the old versions of my daughter, the many different stages that are now in the rearview mirror. I mourn the newborn that I used to nurse that was so dependent on me, the toddler that was always learning and making messes, the child who went through so many stages of dress up and play. I miss the child that was always happy, before the anxiety crept in, the child that always wanted to be in my presence, the one who made me the center of their whole world.

Embrace the Metamorphosis

The teen years mean that you will no longer be the center of your child’s life. Their peers and outside sources will take priority as they learn to gain this new independence. This is needed for the transition to adulthood. Your teen will still need you as their guide to navigate these new waters. It will be hard to step away and let them make their own mistakes, but you can embrace the beauty of the person that they are becoming along the way knowing you have been gifting the tools for this new role all these years. Even though you have to step aside for now, you can let them know you will be the rock they can always come back to for advice and support. Learn to love seeing them learn to fly and grow.

Patience Will Be Your Reward

Be patient with your teen’s new journey, as they will make plenty of mistakes along the way. This is how each one of us learns to be our best, learning what works and what doesn’t work. I have learned that my teen sometimes has a hard time learning how to control these new emotions and will make the mistake of talking back or lashing out at me, but then quickly apologizing after I call her out on it. We are both learning. The struggle to become independent comes with a lot of mishaps and can sometimes be painful for both the child and the parent. Having love and patience is the only way to survive these teen years.

The Joy of All That is to Come

Today I am loving when I can watch my teen daughter play with makeup looks and new clothing styles as she takes selfies and figures out what fits her best. I love hearing her and her friends giggle as they talk about what new boy they have a crush on. I love the rare moments when she comes into my room to tell me all about her day or just needs a hug because it’s been a rough one. I look forward to boyfriends, homecomings and proms, learning to drive, and getting ready for college. I know there will be heartbreaks and speed bumps along the way, but I will be here for all of it to help her through. There is so much to look forward to and so may memories yet to be made.

Now that my daughter is a teen, I can look back at old photos with nostalgia and I know that I am going to be ok. Even though the dolls, the coloring books and the dress up clothes are in the rearview mirror, I can still see my little girl deep inside this blossoming woman. She still cuddles with a few remaining stuffed animals and when she accomplishes something and is proud of herself, I hear her say “I did it” and I can still hear her toddler version self-exclaiming in a high-pitched voice, “I DID IT MOMMA” as she looks at me for approval. I know that the child is still alive in this new grown-up version of my child and even if she doesn’t show it as often, she still needs me.

And I am here for this new journey, hiccups and all. She might even learn from “mom history,” as she calls it, if she pays attention as I tell her about the good, the bad and the ugly of my own life as a teen.