The Loneliness of Single Motherhood

The Loneliness of Single Motherhood

No one really talks about this part, the part that isn’t strength or independence or “you’ve got this,” even though you do. I feel like society has conditioned us to believe that as single moms, we shouldn’t want more and that longing for companionship is somehow selfish. That we should be 100% kid focused 24/7/365. But that’s not the reality of it. 

It gets so quiet at the end of the day, when the kids are asleep, the house finally settles, and there’s no one to tell about your day. No one to laugh with over the chaos or vent to about the little things that built up. You can have a support system, people who love you and show up when it matters, but at the end of the day… it’s still just you.

And I’m not new to being single. I’ve done it for years. I believe in it. I believe it’s healthy to stand on your own, to know who you are without anyone else filling in the gaps. I’ve built a life this way. I handle everything. I show up for my kids, for my responsibilities, for myself. Getting out of an unhealthy situation was the best thing I could’ve done for me and for my kids. I don’t miss that version of my life at all. Peace is something I’ll protect every time.

But there’s a difference between choosing peace and pretending you don’t still want more.

Because being the default for everything, every decision, every worry, every responsibility, gets heavy. You get good at carrying it all, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel the weight of it sometimes. And no one really talks about how isolating that can be. How you can be surrounded by people all day and still feel like there’s no one who’s yours at the end of it. Being a single mom doesn’t mean I automatically want someone to come in and fill a role in my kids’ lives. Some of us are just trying to fill the space in our own lives. 

And that comes down to dating…

Maybe it’s just me, but where do you even meet people anymore? I’m not out here getting approached organically, and when I do manage to carve out a rare mom’s night out and go where all the other “singles” are, we all know what that scene is. Nobody’s really looking to build anything. It’s attention, it’s temporary, it’s surface-level intentions with one goal in mind. Nothing fulfilling, nothing real. 

So you go back home, back to your routine, back to doing it all on your own.

And again, it’s not about being incomplete. I’m good on my own. I’ve proven that.

But sometimes you just want someone there at the end of the day.