Three Ways I Found My Village As A Stay At Home Mom

Three Ways I Found My Village As A Stay At Home Mom

When you become (or are about to become) a parent, everyone tells you “it takes a village.” And they’re right… but what happens when your village works full time and can’t come rock your colicky baby who hasn’t slept all night?

In the fall of 2022, I became a stay-at-home mom after having worked since my first job as a cashier in high school. However, when my husband and I were anticipating the arrival of our third child, we knew the price of daycare just wouldn’t make sense while having another little one at home under the age of two. So, painstakingly, we made the decision that I wouldn’t return back to work after my maternity leave.

I’ve never dreamed of staying home with my kids. I’ve always been the first to admit it takes a special person to do so, and I truly didn’t believe I was up to the task. Nevertheless, I put in my notice with my supervisor and began a panic spiral about what my mental health would look like staying home with two tiny humans while shuttling our oldest to and from school. I knew I’d need to find that “village” everyone kept talking about. And so the search began…

1. 225MOMS (formerly MOPS)

I opened up to a childhood friend (and military spouse) about my worries, to which she quickly replied, “You need to find a MOPS group.” I dragged my feet for the longest time, letting my social anxiety get the best of me, but eventually I googled “MOPS Baton Rouge.” That’s when I found what has become my own little mama village.

That Google search brought me to the 225MOMS website, which promised me food and childcare. That’s really all it took to sell me on registering. But what kept me coming was the community of mothers who have become great friends when I needed it most.

225MOMS, at Istrouma Baptist Church, is a faith-based ministry for expectant moms through moms of high schoolers. The meetings are free (another selling point for me), and brunch and childcare is always provided by loving volunteers, while you are able to have your own cup filled with a Christ-center topic/speaker. With multiple locations and times offered, it was truly the type of environment for any mom looking for fellowship and connection.

2. I became intentional about setting playdates

As mothers, we all know the struggle of making plans with other moms and their kids. The never-ending cycle of “let’s get the kids together soon” never ends in an actual playdate unless you’re intentional about setting a place and time. Between the women I became friends with at 225MOMS and other moms I knew who stayed home with their littles, I began to fill my calendar with dates, times, and places to get our kids, but more importantly, ourselves together. 

It never failed, whether we were sitting down for a cup of coffee at a place like A Cup of Joy while the kids played or meeting at a park to let them run wild, whenever myself and the other mom(s) got together, we were all in agreement that setting the time on the calendar was key to actually meeting. And that time with people who could have legitimate conversations with you (and not just ask you to wipe their bottoms) was essential for our sanity and mental health.

3. I let go of my pride and asked for help

Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, I struggled with asking for help. Whether it was asking my in-laws to watch the kids or my mom to help me clean the house, I rarely asked for help until I was at my breaking point mentally. Having two kids under the age of 16 months at home was apparently all it took for me to let go of my pride. Now my mother-in-law will be the first to tell you I’m not shy to ask if they can watch the kids so her son and I can have a date night.

If you don’t have that village to fall back on with family, whether it be due to distance, death, or strained relationships, we would love to have you join us at 225MOMS this year. Our meetings operate similarly to that of a school calendar. After befriending this amazing group of women, I’ve had such peace of mind in knowing if the time came that I was ever truly in need, I’d have that “village” to fall back on. And that’s exactly what they have been for me.