Growing Up

Dear Pre-Teen Son, You are now 12 years old – one year away from being a teenager. I was excited for you as a baby, toddler and even an elementary school kid but TEENAGER ... I am not ready. Since you recently came home to let your dad and me know that you have a girlfriend, it got me thinking and there is a lot I want to talk to you about when it comes to being a pre-teen. I am so excited for you to learn and grow more into the young man you are changing into, but there are some things that I want to make sure I tell you first. Hygiene is important. Look, I get it...

My parents are the hardest-working people I know. My mother has put in 39 years with the same company, and my father has dedicated his life to working tirelessly at work and at home to ensure we could make ends meet. The two of them scraped and scrounged enough to send all four of their kids to private schools, all while managing to go on vacations, send us to summer camp, and pay for whatever sports and extracurricular activities that interested us kids. They have more than earned this awesome season of their lives. But I gotta admit, I'm a little uncomfortable. Raising parents these days is more difficult than it used to be. Once upon a time, parents would...

More often than not, my son gets "surprises" and "special treats." These range from frequent Amazon packages from my parents who live across the country local grandma causally dropping off five brand new outfits to my own friends sending him toys and books "just because." My response is usually, "Oh my gosh, thank you so much. You are just going to spoil him rotten!" And yet even with the receiving of gifts galore for simply existing, my kind family and friends are not responsible for his spoiledness (is that a word?). I am. And it's progressively gotten worse. The first time I really noticed it is when he was little I made the first-time mother mistake. You know the one. It's when your child is...

My Darling, I know you try. I see your frustration when you are trying and can’t get it right. I know your grades aren’t a perfect reflection of how smart you are. You are so very smart. In fact, your imagination and knowledge about certain subjects astounds me. The facts that you tell me and the wisdom on certain things that you share with me blows my mind. I know you try to sit still, but I know that sitting still is impossible. So I am ok with you wiggling in your chair and running. I know that it makes your mind happy. I know that you want to sit still when we are in certain settings, and I know you...

"When we get to Heaven, will you walk me to see Jesus?" This question that my 4-year-old asked me after our nightly prayer immediately triggered tears in my eyes. To me, there is nothing more intimidating as a parent than talking to your children about faith, Jesus, God, or the Holy Spirit. Coming from someone who grew up in church, this may surprise you. But for some reason, I feel a certain pressure to get it "right" because it's been such a huge part of my life since I can remember. And if I'm being honest, I've had to somewhat undo the perspective I had as a kid or teenager (legalism, behavior modification, etc.), so I do worry about "messing up." To...