Dating :: Why Do We Accept The Bare Minimum?

Dating :: Why Do We Accept The Bare Minimum?

I don’t know about you ladies, but I have been single now for almost a year, and honestly, the idea of dating again is daunting to say the least. I’m getting older and my competition is getting younger. I’m a grown woman so I have standards and needs that younger ladies may not have, and overall, I just expect more from someone who wants to court me.

Let’s be real though, most of us have been conditioned to just accept whatever bread crumbs these men give us, and I’m just not here for it. Why is it necessary for me to chase behind a grown man? The last time I checked I am the prize. I have the capability and willingness to upgrade any man that comes into my life. However, I find that I’m constantly having to give reason after reason to some man for why he should choose me, and I’m over it.

I’m really not here for this bad behavior anymore, and I don’t have the time for it. I’m a single mom with 2 kids. I run a business that makes $1.2 million dollars a year; I do my writing thing on the side; I’m a mentor in my workplace; I still manage to get my kids to karate or swim or any of the other many activities they have going on; and have a decent work/life balance. I’m a busy woman, and I don’t have time to chase behind a man.

But I get lonely, and I want a partner in my life. 

It is so hard because I play both roles a lot, and it would be nice to have someone to help take some of that pressure off. Believe me, I can do bad all by myself, but when I think about dating, I’m just like I’ll pass. I’m really losing faith in the opposite sex, and I know I’m not the only one. When I see Facebook groups like “Are we dating the same man – Baton Rouge” or watch shows like “Caught in the Act” or the short loyalty test reels on social media, I wonder why even bother? Is anyone faithful anymore? Dating sites are awful and full of men that don’t work, live at home with their mommas, or are already in relationships, and ALL they want to do is just exchange explicit pics right of the bat or “link up.” Call me old fashioned, but can we have a cup of coffee first? I mean these men today and their approach towards us as women really concerns me. 

What’s worse is I really feel like we as women enable this poor behavior. We accept it. We fight each other over men who cheat on us. Men who abuse us. Men who ignore us. Men who use us, and I just don’t get it. I could really go down a worm hole on this topic and probably write all night, but I really want to wrap up by just encouraging all of us out here in this cesspool of dating to stop accepting the bare minimum. We are valuable. We are the prize. Stop entertaining these men who don’t work. Stop taking back these men that are cheating. Leave him if he’s verbally or physically abusive. Love yourself better. Choose yourself, and stop fighting with other women over these men who DO NOT DESERVE US.

It’s really going to take a movement of strong women to finally say enough is enough.

Require marriage. Require commitment. Set standards for yourself and then stand on them. We are raising young daughters who need to know their value and worth, and we need to be teaching our sons how to treat women with respect and dignity. I’m tired of having to exhibit masculine energy because these men can’t carry their own weight. I want to feel more feminine in my relationship and less like a mother figure. If he can’t make my life easier, why is he here? I give the same energy I get and if I’m adding value to his life, I expect the same in return. And I don’t think that’s so much to ask for. Smh Ladies. It’s really rough out here. So, Good Luck!