In My Bad Friend Era
Growing up I didn’t have a large group of friends. I had a select few I could confide in until I reached high school. Then that circle got even smaller. I found myself becoming friends with guys more often than girls. Why? Because guys are easier, they aren’t so dependent on connection. This of course came with a whole set of its own problems though. You know the problems I’m talking about. It’s not too hard to figure out.
Then I reached my twenties and shortly after having my daughter, I found my forever best friend. In fact, I won’t even call her my best friend. That woman is my soul sister. Through and through. I can tell her anything, good or bad and no judgement will be passed. Yes, she’ll give me wonderful advice that I probably won’t take but she never holds it against me. Oh, and the fun we have together is unmatched. It’s the type of friendship that doesn’t care if my house is messy, doesn’t care if my kids are running wild, and is just content to sit in the madness with me and listen to me vent while we enjoy a glass (who am I kidding? A BOTTLE) of wine.
Lately though, the extent of our communication has been sending TikToks back and forth. This season of my life is just so busy and I’m struggling to keep up. The guilt of trying to spread myself so thin and not being able to is all consuming.
I admit it, right now I’m a bad friend.
If you call, there’s a 75 percent chance I’ll forget to call you back. I get so busy trying to survive and keep everything afloat that I’ll forget to check in. Oh, you want to go to dinner? Cool but I need at least a 2 week notice and there’s a possibility something may 
come up day of. I don’t do these things intentionally. I just get so caught up in my own bubble, that it’s hard sometimes to effectively communicate with the people I care most about on a regular basis.
I know I’m not alone in this. Maintaining friendships amid careers and motherhood is no easy task. The truth is that the expectations of friendship are constantly competing with the realities of life. It is what it is. We can’t constantly be available for everyone and everything.
We have to keep reminding ourselves that this too shall pass.
These difficult, time consuming, exhausting seasons of our lives will ease up. Friends who are meant to stay, will stay. That’s what a true friend is to me. Someone who will be there for you when the storm eases up, knocking on your door with no explanation needed. A soul sister.
