Mom Guilt: Will It Ever Go Away?
Mom guilt is a common phenomenon experienced by many mothers, often characterized by feelings of inadequacy, doubt, and self-blame. Whether it’s struggling to balance work and family responsibilities, feeling guilty about taking time for oneself or questioning parenting decisions, mom guilt can be overwhelming and distressing.
Mom guilt can stem from various sources, including societal expectations, internalized pressure to be a perfect parent, and comparisons with other mothers. It often manifests as feelings of guilt for not meeting perceived standards of motherhood, whether it’s related to spending enough quality time with children, providing the best possible care, or making the right choices for their development. I have been an educator for nearly 15 years, formerly serving as a middle school principal. Oftentimes, I was gone before my children woke up and back with just barely enough daybreak to tuck them in. Even as I transitioned out of that role to a remote position with much better hours and work culture, the times I had to travel for work or spend time with friends gave way to the guilt of leaving my children.
The relentless cycle of mom guilt can take a toll on mothers’ mental and emotional well-being. Constantly second-guessing decisions, feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities, and striving for unattainable ideals can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even depression. Moreover, unchecked mom guilt can negatively affect the parent-child relationship, as it may hinder genuine connection and presence with children.
I am trying to give myself grace instead of being self-critical, and practice self-compassion by acknowledging that perfection is unattainable and that every mother faces challenges and shortcomings.
I encourage you, Mom, to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend experiencing similar struggles.
I am beginning to embrace that it’s okay to prioritize self-care and personal needs alongside parenting responsibilities. Set realistic expectations for yourself and accept that you cannot do everything perfectly. Focus on what’s achievable and meaningful within the constraints of your circumstances. I also prioritize special time with my children as their interests develop and grow.
Red Stick Mom has been such a help to me and I am sure so many other moms in the area. Reach out to other mothers, friends, or family members who can offer empathy, validation, and practical support. Sharing experiences and challenges with trusted individuals can alleviate feelings of isolation and provide perspective on common struggles. I also created a mom group to support and take care of moms in the Greater Baton Rouge area.
Mom guilt is a complex and pervasive experience that many mothers face, but it doesn’t have to define your parenting journey. By practicing self-compassion, setting realistic expectations, seeking support, and prioritizing self-care, you can navigate through mom guilt with resilience and grace. Remember that you are doing the best you can with the resources and circumstances available to you and that in itself is worthy of acknowledgment and appreciation.
