Mourning a Dear Friend :: Crystal Welch
I’m mourning the loss of my dear friend Crystal Welch, whose passing has left a gaping hole in my life and the lives of those who loved her. I have yet to tell her nephews. In the initial stages of grief, I’m struggling to come to terms with the news, feeling numb and disbelieving. It’s hard to accept that someone so full of life and joy could be gone so soon. Crystal was more than just a friend; she was a loving aunt to my sons, a constant presence at every milestone, and a force of nature who embraced life with enthusiasm and passion who also loved snow boots.
As the reality of her passing sets in, I find myself feeling angry and resentful.
It’s not fair that someone with a heart of gold like Crystal could be taken from us, while others who seem to do harm are still here. I think of all of the adoptions she did pro bono. I lash out at the universe, wondering why this had to happen. But deep down, I know that life doesn’t play by our rules, and sometimes the good ones are taken from us too soon.
In my desperation to undo the pain, I find myself bargaining with a higher power, making deals and engaging in magical thinking. If only I had spent more time with her, if only I had told her how much she meant to me… But I know that grief doesn’t work that way. Crystal is gone, and no amount of bargaining can bring her back.
The weight of my grief is crushing me, making it hard to sleep, eat, or find joy in anything. I’m stuck in a sea of sadness, feeling lost and alone. But even in my darkness, I know that Crystal’s legacy lives on through me, and that I must find a way to honor her memory and continue her work.
Acceptance feels like a distant dream right now, but I know it’s the only way forward. I’ll get there eventually, when the pain subsides and the memories of Crystal’s love, laughter, and adventure become a balm to my soul.
Until then, I’ll hold on to the memories we made together and strive to keep her spirit alive in my heart.
