Our Last Summer Together Before College

Our Last Summer Together Before College

Now that High School graduations are done, the parties are thrown and the acceptance letters and emails have been received…what’s next? As I’ve finally stopped crying after watching W walk across the stage to receive his diploma, I’m finally ready to face our last summer together before his college journey begins.

I’ve been reflecting on the summer after my high school graduation, trying to remember the things I focused on and what I did with family before it was time to take the drive to Memphis and set up my dorm room. When I graduated, I went away for almost the whole summer. I left Baton Rouge and hopped on a bus (yes a bus, I was ready to go!) to Dallas, Texas within weeks of graduating. Myself, my high school boyfriend, and my cousin were off to D-Town to live it up, and work with my Uncles, before embarking on our next step into adulthood. While I was still with family, I had a different kind of freedom and really had a memorable, and profitable summer. Fast forward 26 years, and now I’m the one on the other side of that core memory, watching my child prep for college, torn between pulling him close for family time and giving him room to live out what might be his last truly free summer.

So with my history in mind, and while considering who my child is and what he’s actually into, I’ve set out to compile some ideas that I hope will ensure we all get to enjoy our summer together before he’s off to live on his own in a dorm. While thinking through this I wanted to make sure we created some core memories, prepped for his departure, and that he’s able to learn some life skills before leaving.

Creating Core Memories

We’ve started thinking about our list of “lasts” before he even walked the stage, not because it’s sad, but because it matters.

• Tour your home city together
• Recreate childhood weekend favorites
• Family photoshoot
• A sibling day(s) — let them have their own goodbye, without the adults hovering

One idea deserves its own moment: writing milestone letters. Parent(s), siblings, and other family members each write a letter — four (maybe five, for a little extra) — to be opened one at a time during each year of college. It’s a small thing that turns into a big thing, right when they need it most.

Prep for the Move

The logistics don’t care how you’re feeling, so somewhere between the memory-making, we had to get practical.

• Dorm checklist + a shared wishlist for family to shop from
• Financial aid and paperwork locked in
• Move-in logistics — roommate, date, dorm choice
• Packing light — season-appropriate only, not their whole childhood room

Life Skills Lessons

This is the part that keeps me up at night a little, if I’m honest — making sure he actually can survive without me.

• Laundry — let them mess it up now, not in August
• 3-5 go-to recipes they can actually make
• Grocery shopping + budgeting basics
• Basic first aid
• Mental and physical health resources at their specific school

And somewhere in the middle of all this, we’re having the relationship talk too — how to navigate new people, new conflict, new versions of “figuring it out” without mama in the room.

Practical Living-Away Tips

And then there’s the conversation I can’t checklist my way around. As the mother of a young Black man, making sure he knows how to move through spaces that may not always feel welcoming isn’t optional. That one gets its own seat at the table, not a bullet point.

• Documents the school needs before day one
• Class schedule + knowing when and how to use an advisor
• A communication plan — set the day, set the visit rhythm

I still think about that girl on the bus to Dallas — wide open, a little clueless, trusting the raising that got her that far. Now I’m the one in the driveway, watching W get ready to go. We can’t hand them the whole map. We can only make sure they know the way home. So here’s to one more summer of laundry lessons and Sunday dinners and letters sealed for later. Mamas, wherever you are in this — breathe. You did the work. Now let ’em live it.