Single With a Purpose

Single With a Purpose

As a former co-dependent woman who obtained her identity and value through the lenses of the men in her life, I truly believed being single was the worst thing that could happen to me. I was so very wrong.

The worst thing that could happen to me was placing my entire value on how someone else saw me and neglecting me true self. The poet Warsan Shire’s poem, “For women who are difficult to love” says it best, “You can’t make homes out of human beings….” Happiness consists of learning to be a whole complete person and maintaining your own self-identity whether single or in a relationship.

People are not all you need to live and putting all your hope and faith in them is a mistake. Doing so can leave you worse for wear and leave you without your own identify or in fact “homeless” when they are no longer there. You can be your own home. You can be the person you were waiting for.

Focusing on Personal Growth

Being single provides an opportunity to make your personal goals, hobbies and passions a priority. Without the compromises required in a relationship, you have the time and energy to spend on cultivating interests and pursuing aspirations that align with your values. This can mean the freedom to invest in your career, education, and self-improvement with no distractions or interference of the expectation of others.

Financial Independence

Greater financial autonomy can be a very powerful freedom. Single life allows you to manage your finances without the need to negotiate shared expenses and spending habits. You can save, invest, and spend according to your priorities and not the priorities of someone else. 

Deeper Friendships and Social Networks

There is more time to nurture friendships and expand your social circles when you are single. You can build deeper connections with a diverse group of people without the constraints of a romantic relationship, therefore enriching your social life. By staying single on purpose, I am challenging the narrative of what happiness looks like for me.

Embracing Emotional Independence

When you are in a relationship, emotional well-being is often intertwined with a partner. Being single fosters emotional independence. It teaches you how to self-sooth, develop resilience, and build a strong sense of self-worth without relying of the validation of others. I’ve learned how to navigate challenges on my own, celebrate my own successes and be content with my own company. Outside validation is now less important to me.

Flexibility and Spontaneity

Being single allows you the opportunity to make spontaneous decisions in regard to things like traveling, career changes, and exploring opportunities. This adaptability can lead to exciting personal growth and life experiences. Singlehood allows you to live life on your own terms, keep a sense of adventure and keep life exciting.

Reduced Stress and Conflict

Relationships can be very rewarding, but they can also be a source of stress and conflict. Being single eliminates the challenges of communication issues, disagreements and compromises. This creates a more peaceful and harmonious environment. Prioritizing your own mental health and well-being is important. I have created a peaceful, drama fee environment where I can thrive.

Time to Reflect and Grow

Being single gives you the space to reflect on past experiences, identify personal strengths and weaknesses and to grow emotionally and intellectually. This self-awareness and inner reflection can prepare you for healthier relationships in the future if you wish to pursue them.

Empowerment and Confidence

By proving to myself that I can navigate through life independently, I have gained a sense of empowerment and confidence that I never had before. Singlehood helps you build a strong foundation of inner strength and self-resilience.

Living an Authentic Life

I chose to be single after my divorce as a conscious choice to prioritize my values, passions and goals. It was a choice to finally embrace who I am and to live authentically. This isn’t about loneliness or a lack of opportunities – it is about empowerment, self-discovery and creating a life that feels genuinely fulfilling.

Society often places an undue emphasis on romantic relationships as a marker of our success and fulfillment. By staying single on purpose, I am challenging this narrative and redefining what happiness looks like for me. I refuse to let societal expectations dictate my choices. My life is complete as it is. I am open to the right healthy relationship if and when it comes along, but in the meantime, I am healing myself and molding a better me who isn’t looking for someone to save me, but to be an equal partner and best friend along the way.

I have been single with a purpose for four years now, and it is the best thing I have done for myself.