New Beginnings
After being at home for years, I’m officially back at work. The transition from SAHM to Working Mom isn’t the smoothest. I have mixed emotions. I wish I could firmly say I have a definite opinion on it but that would certainly depend on when and where I am during the day.
First, I have massive amounts of guilt.
Oh my mommy heart hurts for my babies. I miss my kids more than anything I’ve ever missed in my life. I wonder what they’re doing at school. Are they happy? Do they feel safe? Are they being loved? It’s hard for me. When I leave to go to work and I have to say goodbye to my littles, I cry a little in my car. I’m hoping this gets easier. I know it’s hard on my babies too. Jack is proud but he wants me to come back home to take care of him and Jacob. Jacob cries every morning I leave. That hurts.
Second, balancing work and life isn’t easy.
It’s something I’m struggling with. This is my first time since becoming a mother that I’ve applied and started a new job. I was way more flexible with my schedule in the past. I try to put my all in everything but now I have to set up limits. There so many things I need to do but I have to make a priority list. My top priorities haven’t and will never change. Now, I want to be sure I’m more organized and on top of everything than I was before. I still want to make a difference in the world and my home. I hope that I can.
Third and last, I’m a little proud. I’m (sort of) a professional.
I get to be creative every single day and completely stay out of the box. It’s pretty great. I get to get business cards with “Dr. McHenry,” if I want. I’ll get to dress fancy every day like the Disney Princess Tiana. I love that. Although sweatpants were fun. I may even get a briefcase.
I wouldn’t have all of my optimism without my parents.
They dropped everything to help in the transition. My mom and dad have been doing everything imaginable. My parents made sure where I’d be working was ready to go. That the boys were ready to go. That even I was prepared. They make sure the boys and I are happy and healthy. There’s absolutely no way I’d be getting my sleep without them.
All in all, I’m blessed to be where I am. I’m nervous about the future. I will do the best I can to honor my commitments as well as I can.
I’m excited about this new adventure and I’m glad this time I have two little copilots along for the ride.
