When You’re Good at Your 9-5… But Not in Love With It
Some mornings, I find myself sitting in my car for a few extra minutes to gather myself before walking into the office. From the outside, it probably looks like I’m scrolling my phone or listening to the end of a song. But really, I’m just taking a breath before stepping into a job I’m good at, but not one I’m in love with.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not miserable. In fact, there are days when I laugh so hard with my coworkers that my face hurts. They’re the kind of people who will slide you a coffee when they know you need it, who will help you troubleshoot even the most minor issue, and who understand the inside jokes that only make sense if you’ve survived our workplace long enough.
Honestly, they are the reason I show up every day with my head held high.
Then there is the other side of my job, the part that’s harder to talk about, the meetings where I feel more like a checkbox than a person. The decisions from upper management make me wonder if they even know what we actually do down here. The moments when I give my all, quietly and consistently, and it feels like my effort dissolves into the air without anyone noticing.
It is a strange thing to be good at your job but still feel invisible.
I handle things. I fix things. I solve the problems before they become problems. And somewhere along the way, being dependable became taken for granted.
Because there’s something heavy about feeling appreciated horizontally, but not vertically.
Sometimes, I wonder what it would feel like to work somewhere where the recognition matched the effort, where your growth mattered to more than just the people in the next cubicle. In this place, upper management does not feel like a separate universe orbiting above us.
But then another day comes. And I walk in. And someone says good morning in a way that’s more like a warm hug than a greeting. Someone cracks a joke. Someone asks if I need help even when they’re drowning in their own workload. And for a moment, I remember why I stay.
It’s not the job.
It’s the people.
The feel of the workday, not the structure of it.
Still, deep down, I know something is missing. Not because I lack passion or skill, but because appreciation shouldn’t be something you have to chase. It should be a natural part of the environment you give so much to.
So here I am, good at my job, grateful for my team, and frustrated by the upper management, while quietly holding on to the hope that one day the place I work will also feel like the place where I’m valued.
Until then, I’ll keep showing up. Helping. Fixing. Laughing.
And maybe, building the courage to choose something better for myself.
