Becoming “Selfish” to Restore Self-Worth

I listened to a podcast the other day that was talking about how women in their early thirties, married 5-7 years, fresh into motherhood, often lose their sense of self. They get so wrapped up in caring for others that their sense of identity slowly disappears. I thought a lot about this sentiment and how postpartum depression and the time in between my first born and having my second baby was so emotional. I did not take care of myself. I did not do things I love that bring me joy. I had little sense of self-worth.

Now, I’m finding myself again and it has made me a happier woman, a better mom, and in the most blissful state of marriage we’ve ever been in. It’s not selfish to remind yourself of who you used to be before you became a mom and wife. It’s not selfish to do things just for you that make you smile. It’s necessary.

In my journey of re-discovering myself, I do one thing each day just for me that brings me joy. I love makeup, reading, writing, and exercising. Well, I don’t love exercising but I love how I feel when I’m done. I stopped doing all of these things after I had kids. Makeup became a chore and once I started working remotely, I only put it on for special occasions. I used to be an avid reader and couldn’t remember the last book I read. I hadn’t exercised in (years) ugh! I made this list in my head of the things I love, the quintessential “Megan” list, and I tackled it. I applied to be a contributor for Red Stick Mom. I joined my local CrossFit. I bought some new makeup that I was excited to try. I browsed the new novels at target and started reading more at night.

Do I do these things every day? No. But I try to find time for one or two items each day that are just for me to spark joy in my own heart and my headspace has never been better. That, in turn, makes me better for them.


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