Before She Was Mama

It’s true, that like many other daughters turned mothers I know, I like to give my mom a hard time. In a “know it all, only slightly agitating, but we still have a great relationship” type of way. Ha!

My mom and I banter back and forth and fuss about borrowing each other’s stuff, and of course, about how I’m raising my kids. I don’t miss many opportunities to let her know all the things she should have done differently or better. I have already reconciled myself to the fact that my kids will do the same. (Insert eye roll here.)

One day while watching the Golden Globes coverage (of all things), a shot of Oprah came up, and I remembered my mom once told me that she wanted to be like Oprah. She had this dream of being a journalist and an influential business mogul. I looked at Oprah and thought of the life my mom may have had if she had made different choices. The main choice being having me.

My mother had me at 23 and raised me as a single mom for many years. She could have chosen to take a different route. She could have considered her dreams and desires and put those things in front of having a baby. BUT she didn’t.

In that moment, my respect for my mom sky rocketed. Out of all the things she may not have gotten right in my childhood, the sacrifices she has made truly outweigh them all. For a second, I saw my mom as a hero; I saw her for the amazing and selfless human being that she truly is.

As daughters, there are many times we see our moms as “just moms” (even though we despise when people look at us as “just moms”), but they are so much more! Just like us, they are women, dreamers, lovers, and professionals. Long before they were our moms, they were people with countless ideas, aspirations, and goals for their own lives.

Next time you have a chance to complain or ridicule your mom, thank her instead. Thank her for choosing you. Thank her for being an amazing person full of passionate dreams. Encourage her that it’s never to late to do the things she wanted to do before she became Mama.

Strong willed and determined since a little girl, this mom of three, wife, worship leader, writer, and career woman, believes dreams come true if you do the work. Nikyla hails from St. Louis, Mo, the “show me” state. She is a graduate of Louisiana State University and Southern University. She is a certified teacher and currently teaches at Louisiana Connections Academy. Her time out of the office is filled with family, friends and faith. She adores her three children Kyre, K’mya, and Kris and has been married to her childhood sweet heart Remiah Trask for fourteen years. Nikyla is currently a worship leader at Anchor Chapel in Baton Rouge. She has always been passionate about the things she sets her mind to. Her story of victory over severe anxiety disorder, after her third child, is truly one you must hear to believe. It will transform the way you view people with mental illness and even the way you view yourself. She is the founder of the mental health campaign entitled Be Brave. Writing has become a form of therapy for her, and the stories she shares are always honest, heartfelt, and transparent. Read more of Nikyla’s Brave Blogs here.

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