Birthday Party Etiquette for Parents :: Dos and Don’ts
If you have kids, then birthday parties are a part of your life. You are either hosting one for your own child, or attending a party for a friend or classmate. With two kids both in school, we’ve attended and thrown our fair share of parties and I’ve noticed some things I think we parents need to discuss.
Here are some dos and don’ts for parents. Both as a party host and a party guest.
Hosts
Do – send out an invitation. Specify the date, time (start and end), and location. Include the full address of the location. If you need a head count, be sure to include a number for an RSVP and let other parents know it is okay to text. Seems like something that would go unsaid, but you never know.
Do – greet or speak to all of the guests and thank the parent for coming. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation, but an acknowledgement of your guests is important.
Do – acknowledge the gift your kid was given. I’m not saying it has to be a formal, mailed thank you note, but if you’re not opening gifts at the party, let them know the gift was received and appreciated. Send a text, an email, or a social media DM. Say thank you and more importantly, teach your kids to do the same.
Don’t – criticize gifts in front of the gift giver. I can’t believe this is even on the list, but I’ve witnessed it. The parents opted to open gifts at the party and then had some negative or derogatory statement about a gift. Your guest spent money on a gift for your child, be humble and keep your negative opinions to yourself. If you must, share them with a trusted person after the party.
Don’t – stress about party favors. When did compiling “treat bags/boxes” become this over the top necessity? If you want to hand out something to say “thanks for coming,” keep it small or consumable. Personally, the last thing I want is a bunch of random little toys or slime in my house.
Guests
Do – RSVP. The host needs to know how many will be there. The venue, be it a party place or a home, may have a limit, or a price per head. The host needs to plan for food, drinks, etc. Be an adult and let them know you’re coming. Also, let them know if you can’t make it. It makes it easier on everyone.
Don’t – be late. We all have kids and know that it can be challenging to get to places on time. Five mins late is one thing, an hour to 90 mins late in a 2-3 hr party is odd and rude. If you said you were going, do your best to get there on time.
Do or Don’t – bring a gift. If the invitation doesn’t specifically state “no gifts” then the social norm is to bring a gift. Do so. Now, if the invite specifically asks you not to bring a gift like those cute little “your presence is present enough” statements, then listen and don’t bring a gift.
Do – remember that your kid is your responsibility. The host isn’t able to wrangle all of the kids at a party. If your kid is causing an issue, you need to step in for discipline.
Don’t – drop your kid and run, unless you’ve talked it over with the host in advance. The host is doing just that, hosting a party. Also, see above about responsibility.
