Check On Your Mom Friends with Big Kids Too!

I know we are all trapped inside. And I know it’s taboo to have feelings about being trapped inside because we are saving lives by doing so. But the truth is you can still have feelings while complying with the Governor’s stay home order.

None of us stopped having emotions just because the quarantine happened, and we are all coping in different ways.

I see many moms with younger kids struggling because their kids are needy and loud and never leave them alone. (I’ve been there, I get it!)

My struggle looks a little different. My kids are older. I have teenagers and one very self sufficient 8 year old. My kids stay to themselves. They are on electronics, doing school work, and snap chatting with their friends all day. They rarely call on mom for help with anything. They know how to fix breakfast and lunch meals themselves. Once I cook dinner, they fix their own plates, and sometimes we eat together if I text everybody when we’re eating at a specified time. Otherwise it’s pretty sporadic when they come down. Each one will usually come to find me in the house once a day for a hug or just a short conversation, and then they disappear for hours.

My dilemma is the quietness and the loneliness I feel from being isolated for hours with no real interaction. It has truly caused me to realize that I raised pretty awesome kids, but also that this time of them relying on me is truly coming to an end. It’s happening way faster than I anticipated. My oldest will be off to college in two short years!

I appreciate our scheduled times more and more. We have family movie nights and game nights. Sometimes we all can’t sleep and we meet up in the middle of night for a family hang. I think we will keep those things even after all of this over.

If I could say anything to my fellow friends with small kids, I know you hear it all the time enjoy them while they’re and don’t wish these years away. I would add to that – it is okay to feel your frustrations. It’s hard when you’re raising littles, but take it from a mom on the other side, a day will come where “Mommy” rings out less and less. You will be grateful you did your job well, but you will truly miss the days when you felt more useful. I think the best we can do, no matter what stage of motherhood we are in, is appreciate it for what it is currently. Take deep breaths and prepare for what ever comes next!

Strong willed and determined since a little girl, this mom of three, wife, worship leader, writer, and career woman, believes dreams come true if you do the work. Nikyla hails from St. Louis, Mo, the “show me” state. She is a graduate of Louisiana State University and Southern University. She is a certified teacher and currently teaches at Louisiana Connections Academy. Her time out of the office is filled with family, friends and faith. She adores her three children Kyre, K’mya, and Kris and has been married to her childhood sweet heart Remiah Trask for fourteen years. Nikyla is currently a worship leader at Anchor Chapel in Baton Rouge. She has always been passionate about the things she sets her mind to. Her story of victory over severe anxiety disorder, after her third child, is truly one you must hear to believe. It will transform the way you view people with mental illness and even the way you view yourself. She is the founder of the mental health campaign entitled Be Brave. Writing has become a form of therapy for her, and the stories she shares are always honest, heartfelt, and transparent. Read more of Nikyla’s Brave Blogs here.


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