Are you a hard-working mom? Would people describe you as a go-getter, Type A, perfectionist, or work-a-holic? Are you also the laziest person you know? Welcome!
I don’t know about you, but for all the energy I exert getting uniforms ready, homework completed, piano practiced, cleats tied, snacks sent to school, and toddler bathed–not to mention the work I put in during my work day–I somehow manage to be a world-class couch potato. I’m talking full lounging in my over-sized pajamas (or as I like to call them, my “house uniform”), watching some trashy TV, snacking, cruising social media, and feeling absolutely no guilt whatsoever. None. Zip. Zilch.
Over the years I’ve managed to trick my family into believing I’m still “momming,” even though I’ve slowly chipped away at my responsibilities. First, I no longer cook during the week (a couple other cheater-moms and I cook every Sunday and swap meals, so check that off the list). I don’t clean my house either–that’s totally worth my money and one of the best investments I’ve ever made. I also don’t bathe my big kids, get them dressed, wake them up in the mornings, or clean up after them (Chore Charts FTW). They’re at the mature age of 6 and 5, so I feel like they should be polishing their resumes and getting job applications by now.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I do a ton for my kids, as any mother would. I just sneak it into the pockets of the activities that I am active in. When I’m overseeing homework, we’re chatting peacefully about their school day; when we’re sitting down to dinner, we’re visiting with each other; and when we’re riding together in the van (which feels like about 27 hours a day), we’re discussing acts of kindness and sharing our hearts. Admittedly, I squeeze in as much of this into our evenings together so that I can set aside time for myself as soon as their precious heads hit the pillow, which means sometimes I sneak in earlier bedtimes, too.
But I’m not a floor mom. I really just don’t want to play with train sets or blocks. My husband is better at this than I am, so I feel like the kids aren’t totally deprived. When I get home, I’m beat, so it’s not uncommon for me to shoo my kids away with a “Go play.”
When I used to guilty about doing this, I would think of my own childhood. My mom was a full-time working mom who managed to do it all while raising four children and maintaining her own identity and hobbies. Never do I remember her playing on the floor with me; never did I feel deprived of her love or attention; never did I feel like I was missing out on some special bonding experience–we would find special pockets of time to do this in the same environments that I now find with my own children. What I do remember is playing with my siblings, friends, toys, pets, and whatever we could find.
So, “Y’all go play and leave me alone” because Lord knows you’ve got plenty to keep you entertained. Let me know when you’re ready to be tucked in!
mmmhmmm. I’m the same way!! I do sometimes battle with guilt for laying in bed reading a book until 10 am on a Saturday.. But, you know what, independent play time is important for kids, as is independence in general. I don’t her make breakfasts or lunches, I don’t pick up or put away her laundry and I don’t wipe her butt. And I’m pretty sure that she’ll be able to pick out her own health insurance plan and buy her own car once she graduates from college (unlike so many adults I know!).
Yes, ma’am! Keep doing the hard work! I’m slowly trying to do less and less as they become more and more capable, but it is difficult.