Hold Your Judgement on Elle Woods, Carrie Bradshaw, & Me

“I’m not afraid of heights, have you seen my shoes?” – Carrie Bradshaw

When I was in high school, messy buns were in. Girls wanted to give the illusion that they rolled out of bed with a beautiful, messy bun. In reality, it took 30 minutes to curate the perfect messy bun. No one wanted to look like they were “trying too hard.”

We’ve come a long way from those times. Magnetic eyelashes, fun eyeshadow palettes, and self-tanner are all normal topics of conversation, now.

Yet, as a mom who enjoys lots of makeup and heels, I still find there’s a common tone of “Oh my gosh, who has time to do all that?” in mom world when it comes to dressing up.

To any woman who dismisses another woman for “trying too hard” just because she likes to dress up: That would be the same as a woman dismissing you for “not trying hard enough.”

We don’t think twice about this regarding movies and tv shows: Sex and the City, Legally Blonde, and Grace and Frankie. Women dress over the top in these shows and we love it. Yet, I’ve found talking with other moms that enjoy doing their hair and makeup, moms are quick to throw out a statement with a dismissive tone saying, “I just do not have time to do that in the morning.”

… as if that were something immediately open to discussion because a mom put a full face of makeup on.

I was supposed to have a scheduled c-section for my daughter a few years ago. This was a relief to my type-A personality because I could plan so many factors that cannot be planned otherwise. I would talk about how I was excited to wash my hair the night before, have my makeup done for pictures afterward, etc. Some of my mom friends asked me why I felt I needed to do that. Well, I didn’t feel like I needed to. I wanted to. I mean, if I was going to be disemboweled half-naked on a table in a room full of strangers, I just wanted to maintain some dignity from the neck up.

The mom that’s always slightly overdressed or “done up” most likely just enjoys doing so. It does not necessarily mean anything of the following:

  • She’s self-conscious
  • She wants to be the center of attention
  • She’s vain

I know too many women that have clothes and jewelry sitting in their closets that they want to wear more often. Just wear them!

One of my family members told me that my wearing my great grandmother’s [freaking gorgeous] earrings to our family Christmas party in 2020 made her want to dress up for our 2021 Christmas party. That made me so happy! Not only did this sentimental jewelry get some air time, but it inspired someone else to throw something fun together, too.

Bringing it back to circa 2003:

“You always dress in yellow
When you want to dress in gold
Instead of listening to your heart
You do just what you’re told”

-“Why Not?” a song by Hilary Duff

So, wear the yellow or the gold (depending on what you want to do), just don’t make assumptions about women that wear the opposite.

Deon Sumer
Hi, I’m Deon! I grew up in Zachary, Louisiana. I am currently attending Southern University Law Center part-time, where I am also a teaching assistant, with the intention of practicing family law. I work full-time at the East Baton Rouge Law Office of the Public Defender as a secretary. I had my daughter, Evelyn, in the fall of 2018 and am engaged to an amazing, supportive man named Ryan. I love traveling and exploring new places. A plane ticket to anywhere with a rental car waiting for me is a solid vacation. I have a degree in mass communications with a concentration in public relations and a minor in political science from LSU. I have a rescue dog at home and love helping with animal welfare efforts. My daughter’s first word was dog (or ‘gog’). I'm also always looking for ways to join the fight against Louisiana's domestic violence epidemic. I spend the majority of my free time gardening or wandering around our neighborhood with my family.


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