What keeps me grounded when work becomes too much? My babies. My 3-year-old twins and my 5-year-old boy always reach for me to be held. I’m reaching for them as well.
How did I ever do life without you?
I’ve always been adventurous, brave, and a self-sufficient person. As an only child, I created my own fun. How I was as a child correlated to my adulthood. My career and relationships along the way have taught me a lot of character and life lessons, but my babies are teaching me things I never knew I needed.
I take after my dad’s demeanor. He loves big but is impatient. I hate waiting and my anxiety makes me want everything to happen immediately. My babies have taught me how to face my anxiety, deal with my childhood trauma, and how to work on my impatience. Being adventurous like their mom & dad, my boys know how to test every limit, push every immovable door, and how to break even the tiniest items.
When they first handed me my babies, I gasped for air. I had never in my life loved like this before. I was unbelievably filled with emotions. At that moment I felt emotions I never felt before. Not only did I have to worry about my life, but I have this tiny human who I am responsible for. At that moment, I learned more about my emotions. I experienced happiness on a whole other level. When my boys fall down and hurt themselves, I feel sadness on a whole other level. When I get angered about something, I now experience protectiveness and anger on a whole other level. As my boys are growing up, I have to remember that my boys are watching our every move. They learn from me based on what I do, but also how I handle myself, emotionally. How do I handle myself when I’m happy, sad, or angry? Patience and emotion control go hand-in-hand. In times of stress/anger, I cannot “fly off the handle”. I have to try my hardest to remain calm and in control because my boys are watching.
Mom… I need you
That is what I could only imagine my boys would tell me if I did not start working less, stop being pulled in directions, and saying “no” more.
How to slow down…
Before I was a mom, I worked a lot and worked multiple jobs a lot of the time. Intentionally and unintentionally, my boys are teaching me more about how to slow down. They look for me when I’m not around. When I used to work away a lot, my boys would wonder where I was. That’s when I started to realize, I cannot keep working so much. My oldest boy is in Kindergarten this year and is struggling academically. I admit I put this on myself as if it were my fault for his failure. My boys have taught me how to slow down because, let’s admit it, they are only young once. I don’t want this time to pass me by.
My babies… you may need me, but I need you more!