Mom Guilt Is Real!

Recently, my son received a very special award at school. My husband and I were very proud when we were notified about the award. We received an e-mail that stated the date and time of the program, which was five days away. After reading the e-mail I instantly became anxious because I had a schedule conflict. I was scheduled to be out of town for a work meeting on the same day of the program, and there was no way that I could make both. Instant “mom guilt!”

I became very anxious because I pride myself in being able to balance the life of a working mom, and I had never been faced with choosing work over my son. I have always proclaimed that my son comes before everything! This situation was a first, and I had to figure it out. The anxiety turned into guilt because I knew that making both was impossible and skipping the meeting was not an option. I did not want to request leave and miss the meeting, but I also wanted to be there for my son’s first school award. For two days I created multiple scenarios that I thought could work, but they all concluded with me attending the meeting. And each time I reached that conclusion, I felt an instant gut punch filled with guilt.

I could not take it anymore, so I expressed my issue to my husband. I explained that I was not able to make the program. He responded by stating that the bright side of this entire situation is that there will be more award programs. I held on to that reassurance and coated my guilt with the belief that more good things are to come. I also promised that I would stop placing so much pressure on myself.

There will be more programs, more meetings, and more instances where I will have to choose. I now trust that my presence at my son’s events does not personify the love I have for him, but the fact that my actions fill his heart with the love I have for him.

I am a believer of mom guilt; however, I refuse to allow it to overtake me again!

Ashley Cox Coates is a native of Baton Rouge, LA. She is happily married to her beau of seven years, Kevin Coates. They have an amazing son, Ethan Buff (6). As a family they enjoy going to the movies, playing at the park, perusing the French Market in New Orleans, and spending time with family and friends. She received a B.A. in English and a Masters of Mass Communication from Southern University and A&M College, and a Juris Doctor from the Southern University Law Center. Ashley is a full-time working mom and is constantly exploring new ideas to accentuate her ultimate purpose in life. In her free time, she loves to plan children’s birthday parties, dance, and make “quick” trips to Target! Ashley believes that, ultimately, everything happens for a reason.


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