People always tell you about the firsts, but no one ever warns you about the lasts. -Jessica Simpson
My sweet caboose, my baby number four, I know you’re my last baby. The day you were born, my mommy heart was complete. You filled every void. I held you in my arms and knew you’d be my baby forever. I brought you home and had you next to me in your bassinet. I nursed you, I held you (A LOT), I rocked you and I stared at you. I tried to soak in every sweet moment because I knew they’d be my last to experience.
Looking Forward…
I remember with my firstborn looking forward to every milestone. I couldn’t wait for him to get teeth and start baby food, I couldn’t wait for him to roll over and reach for things! I longed for the day he’d say momma. I could hardly stand waiting for him to take his first steps! With you, it’s different. With every milestone, there’s excitement with a tinge of sadness.
Hitting Milestones…
You’ve grown out of the swing, the bassinet near my bed, the sit me up seat, you’re scooting around the floors, exploring and pulling up on furniture. The sadness in my heart the first night that I put you in your crib in your room will be a sadness I won’t soon forget. I have never had to emotionally detach myself from all things baby before now. Now when you grow out of it, we’re done. What do I do with it? Where does it go? With each day, I can feel the baby in you slipping away. My momma heart isn’t ready.
Holding On…
Watching you grow brings so many different emotions. I’m holding on a little tighter, I’m trying to save these memories on the hard drive of my brain, so I’ll never forget them. It’s amazing how you completed my heart and filled every void on the day you were born but yet your growing up leaves a void that I was not anticipating.
