Perfection is Not Real, But Perfection Anxiety Is

My three-year-old had fruits snacks with breakfast this morning because sometimes … momma just can’t argue ANYMORE. Confessions of the toddler years. When I had my son, I SWORE he would eat fully organic whole food meals with a probiotic sprinkle on each one. Then I lived a little bit of the mom life. Don’t get me wrong, I still buy organic (sometimes) and fight with toddlers until I am about to blow over them eating their well-balanced PROTEIN. VEGETABLE. COMPLEX CARB. MEAL! In the same day, I pass a pack of “gummies” to the back seat just so I can drive without a meltdown city happening back there. The best part, the “gummies” AKA fruit snacks is that somehow make my babies interact and laugh at each other. MAGIC! This rambling rant has a purpose, I promise.

Perfection anxiety is real. Feeling like you just can’t keep up is real. Often, the perfection anxiety is self-inflicted. Why do we spend so much time worrying about perfection? Do we really think that others will notice the perfection? I spend so much time dusting 4 flakes of dust off a picture frame that no one actually notices in the first place so that people think I have it all together. I LITERALLY will do laundry before having people over JUST IN CASE they go into my laundry room because I don’t want them to think I’m a lazy slob. How ridiculous is that? Have you ever gone to someone’s house and been like “hmmm I’d really like to experience your luxurious laundry room?” No ma’am. This is insane. This is so toxic to myself, and I am vowing to shut. it. down. I am cutting myself some slack. You know what actually matters? That I can show up for those that I love. That I can deliver to those who I have promised myself to. That I can be who I am meant to be. That person isn’t defined by a spotless laundry room although it does make my heart smile. So how can we do this? The whole slack thing? I am no expert, but I have found three things that do help me to feel more in control and less anxious.

Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail

This might seem a little contradictory, adding another daily task. When my kids were newborn stage, especially when there were two of them, we would have our whole house basically staged for every possible middle of the night scenario. There would be a syringe next to gas drops sitting next to the changing pad in their room. The Boppy pillow was strategically placed for quick access. Of course, most important was a snack next to my bed because we all know that breastfeeding hunger is REAL. We did this every single night and our parents thought we had completely lost our minds, but you know what? It gave us a sense of control in the least controlled environment. So what does this look like for you? Is it meal prepping crockpot meals for the week on Sundays? Is it pre-scheduling your weekly workouts? Maybe it is setting your house up like a NASCAR pit-stop at night to make the morning run smoother!

Raise That White Flag

“I’m good, no really, I’m okay.” Maury is here, and he says “The lie detector has determined that was a lie.” My husband will be the first to testify that I will deny help almost subconsciously. He has had to grab me by the shoulders and look me in the eye and demand that I delegate at least one task to him. I think over the years he has learned that maybe being proactive in this respect benefits him much more than it does for me. So, take this as a challenge. Instead of just putting your head down and pushing forward on those days that you are in the weeds, just do some outsourcing. For you, this might be asking a grandparent to do the school pick up so you can knock out a couple more errands. Let your husband cook when he offers! This might take some less-than-subtle hints at first. When someone asks if you need anything, don’t autopilot the “No thanks!” OUTSOURCE!

Daily Win Assessment

This is probably the most important thing for me. At the end of the day, instead of focusing on the tasks that are rolling over to tomorrow’s to do list, take a quick inventory of the ways you WON that day. Maybe you got a “go girl” at work. Celebrate that your kids ate something other than “gummies.” If you were able to put the dirty dishes down where they were and play a game with your kids before bedtime, give yourself a gold star! It is so easy to fall into the routine of analyzing the things we didn’t do that day. You can do this mentally or physically write them down, but make sure every day you do your Daily Win Assessment, so you don’t overlook how much you are actually WINNING!

About Ashton Fox

She is a momma to two hilarious toddlers, Finnley (3) and Vivi (2). She was born and raised in Baton Rouge and now live in Prairieville with her kids, her husband, Jason, their dog Lucy, and a goldfish named Soccer. As a family, they love to go on Jeep rides and Superior Grill any day of the week. Ashton is a Registered Nurse and now owns an online children’s boutique, Rosey Hayes Children’s Boutique. She loves her two jobs because they both involve meeting new people and helping people. Ashton loves cooking, true crime podcasts, laughing until crying, sitting on the beach from sun up to sundown, and tacos. 


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