Raising the Almost Adult

Teenagers are moody, stinky, hangry (combo of hungry and angry) almost adults. We hear it all the time. It’s hard raising them. They are difficult and eat all your food. And I mean all! 

As the mom of a fifteen year old boy, I have found myself frustrated and often confused at what happened to my sweet hyper-active little boy. The doctors would say hormones happened. All I know is one day he was this little person who relied on me for everything, and now he is this person towering over me, grunting, and texting me about the latest pair of sneakers he wants. 

Recently I found myself feeling a little lost as to how to reach him, how to find some emotional connection with him. I noticed we didn’t seem to have deep meaningful conversations where I was able to teach anymore. At least that is what I thought. 

Then one night he arrived home from a basketball game and his younger brother (who thinks he hung the moon and the stars) was so excited to see him. He started talking and sharing how happy he was that his big brother was home. My teenager went into a grumpy rant.

“I’m tired leave me alone.”

I knew my little was devastated. 

Later my son came to greet me while I was washing my face and I calmly told him I overheard the interaction. I explained how his little brother was so excited to see him and how harsh he had been. I didn’t fuss or ridicule him; I took the teachable moment and appealed to the kind hearted person I had raised long before teenage hormones arrived. 

Later that night (too late), I heard him playing with his little brother,  rough housing. They were both laughing and I mean belly laughing. I literally shed a few tears at the beautiful sound. Never mind that it was way past bedtime and they were loud. He was making up for his earlier behavior and he had heard me. 

The next day when he returned home from basketball practice, I was napping after a long work day. He came in my room and didn’t say a word and just plopped his head in my chest. I immediately said “what do you want?” He replied, “nothing, I just wanted to hug my mom.” I was tired and a little grumpy myself, but I just let him lay there. The joy that flooded my heart was immeasurable.

We are both finding our way during this phase of life. Raising an almost adult doesn’t have to be so bad. 

Strong willed and determined since a little girl, this mom of three, wife, worship leader, writer, and career woman, believes dreams come true if you do the work. Nikyla hails from St. Louis, Mo, the “show me” state. She is a graduate of Louisiana State University and Southern University. She is a certified teacher and currently teaches at Louisiana Connections Academy. Her time out of the office is filled with family, friends and faith. She adores her three children Kyre, K’mya, and Kris and has been married to her childhood sweet heart Remiah Trask for fourteen years. Nikyla is currently a worship leader at Anchor Chapel in Baton Rouge. She has always been passionate about the things she sets her mind to. Her story of victory over severe anxiety disorder, after her third child, is truly one you must hear to believe. It will transform the way you view people with mental illness and even the way you view yourself. She is the founder of the mental health campaign entitled Be Brave. Writing has become a form of therapy for her, and the stories she shares are always honest, heartfelt, and transparent. Read more of Nikyla’s Brave Blogs here.

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