It’s been exactly one month today since we met. I know the relationship is still new, but I think I’m ready to use those three words:
I Love Roomba.
Yes, I could shout it from the mountaintops! I’m in love with a robot!
I chalked up owning a robot vacuum cleaner to a pipe dream, convinced that I was having champagne wishes and caviar dreams. But a friend of mine convinced me that it was a life-changer, so I saved up all my wishes – Christmas, birthday, and my Wish Upon a Star that I never cashed in – and committed. And boy, am I glad I did! How foolish I was to think that my all-time Wish would be to have New Kids on the Block show up to a pizza/slumber-party and serenade me in front of all my jealous friends? I could have a robot that picks up those bits of scrambled eggs dropped during breakfast!
This robot signals that I have officially *arrived* into adulthood, and I gotta say it looks a lot better than I imagined. I have watched three of my own flesh and blood take their first steps, but watching my Roomba navigate the floors for the first time was truly an awe-inspiring and blessed event. I’ve never kept a baby book for any of my kids, but I understand now why people do those things because I felt the need to document that on February 2, 2017, at 8:29 PM, Roomba discovered the living room rug.
At first, I kind of defeated the purpose of having an automated vacuum cleaner because I couldn’t stop following it around the house, beaming with pride as it found its way to the reading nook. But when I retired to the back room to read, he found me. I felt exactly like Hagrid watching Norbert hatch.
It has already proven its worth for a number of reasons. First, I don’t have to take the heat for making my kids (slash husband) pick up after themselves. If they don’t pick up their loose items from the floor, Roomba’s gonna get it. He’s like my little dirt-sucking side-kick. Second, I’ve realized that I can be doing pretty much anything while vacuuming. I can watch TV while vacuuming; I can take a bath *while* vacuuming; I can blog *WHILE* vacuuming!
It genuinely makes me emotional to think of my life before Roomba. Were colors always this vivid? Were sounds this melodic? Did I smile before I got a Roomba?
So now not only do I no longer cook, nor do I clean my own home (a housekeeper is totally worth the investment), but I don’t even have to clean the floors in between cleanings! And I’ve somehow convinced my family that I’m still the mom!
It’s tragic that there are actual people out there who have not yet heard the good news of Roomba. Trust me when I tell you that it’s worth saving up all your wishes! Dreams really do come true!