Who’s Gonna Save Me?
So I was flipping thru reels on Facebook the other day and one of them caught my attention. If you’re a millennial like me then you probably remember the movie “The Princess Diaries” and of course the song “Supergirl.” Well the reel was this video and she’s singing, “I’m supergirl and I’m here to save the world, but I wanna know who’s gonna save me?”
Lately, I been thinking that myself.
Watching all these moms who clearly have it together, and I’m like why is that not me? What am I doing wrong? I just feel stuck in my current circumstance, and I keep feeling like I need someone to save me, but the truth is Superman is not coming. So what am I supposed to do?
Well, it’s going to be painful, but I’ve realized that I’m going to have to save myself.
I know I don’t have to do it alone. I have my God, my friends, my family, and my community to help me. Let’s be real; it takes a village. I need all the village help I can get especially when it comes to staying motivated. However, I do have to decide that it’s going to get done if I’m ever going to move forward. After all, I have to be the change I want in my life. No one else can make those changes for me.
So tonight, I’m going to start a list/journal. I’m going to write down everything I want to accomplish and gain and have over the next year. I’m going to start praying everyday, and I’m going to believe that My God is going to give me the things that I ask for and I’m not going to necessarily worry about the how or when (that’s for God). I’m just gonna focus on putting in the work that I can do and let God handle the rest. Hopefully as things progress, I’ll get to update you all as I take this journey.
However, all I know right now is I’m tired of being depressed and anxious. I’m tired of being a lackluster mom. Thank goodness my kids think I’m the “best” mom ever-their words-I’m really not. Maybe one day I’ll be better though. I’m tired of sleeping on my sisters floor with my kids. That’s a story for another time. I’m not without by any means so please don’t think that. It’s just a tight squeeze that’s all. I was in a bad situation with an ex so I needed some time to get my head on straight. It’s been about a year, and I’m thankful, but we need our own space now.
Most of all, I’m really just tired of being tired.
I want and deserve to feel good about myself. I want to be able to participate in some of my favorite hobbies again like cooking with my kids in my own kitchen, 
playing an instrument, learning another language, reading a good book in my own bed, or decorating for the holidays. I’m ready to drop this extra weight. I want to do my makeup and wear clothes that make me feel pretty again. I may be hopeless in this area though lol. I am not a good girl, but Like Dolly says best “You better get to livin.” (FYI: if your having a bad day that song is a great pick me up) And that’s exactly what I want to do. Im tired of feeling like I’m just out here getting by or living for the future. I really just want to live for the day and enjoy this crazy thing we call life.
