There are so many nights when I finally get to lay my head down that I’m covered in mom guilt. I run through my day and wonder if I made the right decision. I wish that I hadn’t yelled over something so silly. I wish I would not have been so quick to spank. I wish that I would’ve said yes more. I wish that I wouldn’t have let them have so much screen time.
All these things play through my brain and I wonder “am I a good mom, and am I ruining my kids?” I’ve started to really pray about these thoughts just throughout my day. My heart kept telling me to stop worrying about the heavy stuff and start finding the small things. Over and over again, I kept hearing “find the small things!”
I really started trying to see the little things. The things like when my little girl falls and her twin brother runs over and says “are you ok? Let me go get you a bo-bo pack.” Or when my two-year-old pats and sings to her baby doll and props it up on her hip and kisses it! Or when my six-year-old says “man mom you stay up late every night, you must be tired!” Or when my five-year-old starts giving her siblings positive affirmations before school. Noticing these things has enriched my life so much.
These things are God’s way of showing me that I’m enough! I am a good mom, I’m just human. I may lose my sanity from time to time, I may yell and I may let them have too much screen time. But I’m also teaching them to be kind human beings. I’m teaching them to care for one another and love their babies. I’m teaching them to notice and appreciate the people around them and I’m teaching them to be encouragers! They may not hear everything I say but they see the things I do. They are watching me all the time and God is constantly showing me the small things.