Dear David’s Mom,
Look, I know you have a name. Maybe you haven’t heard it in a while. Maybe you answer by “MOMMY!” or “MOM!” or “SNACK!” or maybe you’re mostly just referred to as “David’s Mom.” I wear my Mom Badge proudly, too, but know better than to think that’s where your identity ends. Maybe you’re the boss of your own company. Maybe you’re running a household full-time. Maybe you have a whole slew of things you do and accomplish outside of parenting. Whoever you are, I’ve been wanting to say something to you.
I know David can be a handful. He seems to get himself into a lot of mischief. It looks all too familiar. I see that you find yourself saying “No” quite a lot. If fact, you probably anticipate yourself saying “No” before the question is even asked. The answer may be “No” because David’s question is unreasonable, dangerous, hard, tiring, or maybe just simply because its “No.”
You probably want to be a “Yes” Mom. You probably wish more times than not that you could say “Yes,” no matter what the question. You may wake up some mornings and make a conscious effort to say “Yes” to as many things as you possibly can that day. You decide that no matter what effort it takes, you’ll be the mom who is agreeable and positive. You’ll do the fun things, bake the sugary foods, make the big messes, and throw routine out of the window.
And then, maybe, the next day you wake up and can’t be a “Yes” Mom again. Maybe you’re too tired. Maybe there’s too much to do. Maybe you’ve spent all night cleaning and recovering from the previous day’s “Yes.” Maybe you just simply say, “No.”
David’s Mom … I love to say “Yes,” too, but its OK to say “No” sometimes. Maybe being a mommy means that its more important to give the hard answers than to say “Yes” all the time. Maybe being a mommy means that we love fiercely and that’s why we say “No” sometimes. David knows you love him. You always make sure to show him love and grace even when he’s made mistakes. Isn’t that more important than always saying “Yes?”
Today’s “No” may seem like no big deal, but tomorrow’s “No” may be more complicated and harder to swallow. You won’t want that to be the first “No” he hears.
I hope this encourages you, David’s Mom. You aren’t the only mom out there having to say “No.”