The Advantages Being an “Older” Mom

The Advantages Being an “Older” Mom

I wasn’t one of those women who had aspirations to be a mother growing up. I blame this on being the oldest of 4 children and not ever really feeling like a child. In the workforce, I would encounter working mothers and had no idea how they did it, working all day and then going home to take care of someone else. It sounded so exhausting. I had devoted my adult life to my career and traveling, but I was always missing something.

Fast forward to age 37 when I married a man who had two young daughters and my life forever changed.

I fell in love with two little girls, and I loved having a purpose outside of myself. It was then that I decided to have a child of my own despite never hearing the tick tock of a biological clock. This led me to making the decision to have a child at the age of 38. I was signing up for the one adventure I hadn’t yet had, and it would be my greatest one.

I remember the first words my Obstetrician said to me, “You are having a baby at age 39, are you crazy?” I responded with a “Yes, but crazy is the only way I know how to live”.  Despite the fact that the medical industry tries so hard to scare you to death with all the talk of “Geriatric Pregnancy’ and “Advanced Maternal Age” the pregnancy went very well. It may have been harder on my body than a younger mom, but I had nothing to compare this to, but the words of friends who had both early and later pregnancies. At first, I was scared to embrace the pregnancy, always concerned that something was going to go wrong. This was until I was finally left alone with my daughter and held her perfect little body in my arms. 

Now as a mother of an almost 13-year-old, despite not having as much energy as my younger mother counterparts. I have learned there are a lot of advantages of being an “older mom.”

value of time, geriatric pregnancy, advanced maternal age

The Value of Time

Older mothers know the value of time because they have been on this earth longer and have seen firsthand how quickly time goes by. They have known the loss of losing people they love and have learned how important quality time spent with loved ones really is. Because of this knowledge, every moment is soaked in and cherished. This includes all the good and bad parts of the newborn, the toddler, the child, and the teen years. Nothing is taken for granted.

Wisdom

Older mothers are wise. They have long since finished college or have been in the work force long enough to have picked up a few things. They have had more time to both fail and succeed and learn from both of these along the way. These are valuable tools to pass on to their children as guide maps to their own paths. Educated in academia or in life, they have a lot to share.

Awareness of Mortality

Having a child later forces you to take inventory of your own mortality. Because you want to be here to see them grow up, they give you more motivation to take care of yourself. By taking care of ourselves, we teach our children these same habits early. We have also learned to stop putting off our dreams and dive into new experiences. You give the gift to your child of seeing you as a participant in life instead of a bystander and hopefully they learn to do the same.

The Gift of No Longer Trying to Please Everyone

If you live long enough, you learn that you cannot please everyone. Age gives you the gift of not caring as much what people think of you and this is a valuable tool that you can share with your children in their struggles of peer pressure and finding their own autonomy. By a certain age, we learn that we have to love ourselves, because some people will not like us not matter what we do or no matter how hard we try. By being truly uniquely ourselves, we teach our children to do the same.

Strength

The roller coaster of life makes you stronger. You learn how to fight the good fight the more times you have fallen and gotten back up. When you have those moments when life hits you hard in the gut, you have something to keep fighting for. You fight the difficulties so you can be here to take care of your child and provide them a good life. Giving up is not an option so you pull your strength from them and for them.

Aimee Dyess
Born in Baton Rouge, Aimee graduated from LSU with a B.A. in both English Literature and Sociology. She also received her Paralegal from The University of North Texas. After 13 years away, living in Dallas, Texas, and the surrounding area, Frederick, Maryland, and Texarkana, Texas and then Metairie, Louisiana, she made her way back home settling in Central, Louisiana. Becoming a mother late in life, her greatest blessing is raising her amazing almost 13-year-old daughter. Aimee works full time in Intellectual Property Law and is a member of "The Flamingeauxs" Dance Krewe. You can find Aimee reading, dancing, writing, crafting, practicing photography, attending concerts, spoiling her cockatiel and tabby, going on road trips, and traveling every chance she gets. Some of her poetry can be found on Instagram @aims2journeypoetandwriter.

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