In the last election, I was appalled and inspired by a post a local female running for office. The things said to her were appalling. I thought long and hard about it and the plethora of dumb, rude, and downright appalling things said to me through my life as a mom, business owner, wife, woman, etc. I asked some of our writers the craziest things said to them as a mom. That post is up to 165 comments. It would take me three posts to share all. I thought I would share some of the craziest in no particular order, exactly how they were shared with me.
In regards to the child’s brown skin color:
“You really should take that baby out of the sun, he’s way too dark.”
There were lots on adoption (errrrr Moses).
I don’t believe in adoption. Adoption is never the will of God. If God wanted the child to be in your family he would have put the child in your womb.
There was also this one in regards to a child that wasn’t adopted at all.
Where did you get her from?
Then some on the age of the mom.
I mean, you’re JUST getting started?! You’re not planning on having a lot, huh?
Then there were the ones on the loss of a child.
Oh well, your kids would have been too close in age anyway.
Some had comments on step-parenting.
If all of my kids were drowning that I would rescue my biological kids first and not my step children because there’s no way I love them the same.
Of course, there are the classics about multiple children.
Don’t you know how this happens?
Or in regards to the gender of the child.
When finding out my baby was a girl (both times) “Aw is your husband ok?”
In regards to infertility.
I cannot TELL you how many times I have been told that GOD HIMSELF decided every day of those 6 years that I deserved all that pain and sadness and longing, because I wasn’t “ready” yet.
The most appalling part of these comments was that these comments were regularly made in front of the children. I have several theories on this, but that’s a blog post for another day. I will start with a simple response to those that comment on the loss of a child inside or outside of the womb. Unless you are offering your condolences in some way, SHUT UP. It is never okay to justify or devalue the loss of a child. This goes for infertility as well. I also feel I should offer some simple explanations on the decisions we make as mothers, where our kids come from, our children’s skin tone, and how many. It’s short and simple, IT’S NEVER ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS.
With that said, I will offer you a question posed in the comments.
Anyone else get tips on sex positions to conceive a boy? No? Just me?
My answer…ALL. THE. TIME.