There is nothing that can drain us all like the daily grind can. Sometimes (most of the time) it can feel like Groundhog’s Day. Same routines, same people, different day. Sometimes it can feel like you are living in your car or that you are an Uber driver for your family. Everyone else looks as if they are relaxing the day away while you are going cross-eyed.
What if I told you that you are not the only one who is busy? Newsflash: there are other busy people out there. It might feel like you are alone but reality is, you aren’t. Millions of women right now are probably just as busy as you are and like you, trying to figure out how she will get it all done. It’s like there is a new puzzle that needs solving every day. I constantly run into situations with my kids and home life that make me completely crazy. How can I be at two places at once? How will I be able to drive this kid here and then pick this one up while not being late picking the other one up? How can I fit 8 errands into a lunch hour?
It’s like juggling kids and trying to not drop them. Or forget them somewhere. I get it.
Here’s the main thing I have noticed with other moms during our innocent, day to day conversations on how things are going – we one up each other in the busy department. More often than not, an exchange on who has the most things to do in the least amount of time goes back and forth between us.
I mostly hear:
“Yeah but at least you … ”
“Try having to ___ and ___.”
“Your kids are older so … ”
“Yeah but you can … ”
“I wish I could … ”
It’s a tennis match of who is worse off. It never accomplishes anything because here’s the thing: WE ARE ALL BUSY. We all have our definitions of busy and they vary greatly. What you might consider really busy, Susan over there might do on a daily basis. Don’t downplay Susan’s busy. She is on the verge of losing her mind.
Being busy is part of life. Just when I think I couldn’t be busier, a kid needs more tutoring or my husband won’t be home all weekend. I put one foot in front of the other, survey what needs to be done, cuss under my breath, and do it. I don’t believe that letting anyone know exactly how busy I am would help eliminate any pressure. Plus, I am usually too busy to let anyone know.
We have got to stop placing busy on such a pedestal. Running through your list of your to-dos while having a conversation with a friend in an effort to impress them, or gain sympathy, isn’t going to do you or anyone else any favors. In fact, all it does it make you look sort of bad. What kind of friend dismisses someone else’s stressors? We are all in this together, remember? Let’s not make martyrs of ourselves for the sake of appearances or opinions. Busy is a way of life now, for all of us. Our kids have all of us running around like lunatics. Our jobs keep us insanely busy. We all have to grocery shop, do laundry, feed kids, obtain goals, and get things done in the same 24 hours of the day. Self-care goes out the window and is replaced by late night homework with our kids.
Being busy is not a badge of honor. It is not something we should use to elevate us in any conversation.
Embrace your busy, accept it and listen to those who are having a hard time with it. We are all one flat tire away from losing our minds.