Mornings are known for their routine in my household. Wake up, get ready for school, eat breakfast, and then go to school. Some mornings run as expected. I spend ten minutes forcing a nine year old to wake up and then another 45 minutes threatening children to ensure that they are on time for school. And then there are other mornings when the tooth fairy completely jacks up the routine. After finally getting the nine year old up, I must then answer questions about why the tooth fairy didn’t come or explain how that wasn’t me who lifted his pillow when he was sleeping.
The tooth fairy is constantly being set up to fail in my house. Immediately after waking my son up one morning, he checks under his pillow only to find his tooth was still there. Of course, it was no fault of the tooth fairy because she was never even informed that a tooth fell out. Have you ever had a job where your boss frequently asked if you performed a task without first telling you to perform the task? No? Well, then become a tooth fairy. Or having a boss tell you at bedtime that a crisp one dollar bill is needed before sunrise?
In the past, the tooth fairy was forced to be creative with gifts because with three children who lose teeth like socks, back to back visits are inevitable. When surprised with a tooth at bedtime, the tooth fairy lucked up and found an unused gift card in a drawer. And another time, grabbed an unopened toy from the gift closet in lieu of cash.
Most recently, after my son caught on to my double life, he walked into the room and screamed “Mom is the tooth fairy. The tooth fairy is not real. Santa is real though.”
At least I still have that job.