Boy Mom and Princess Dresses

I am not a boy mom by the pure definition that the reliable source of Urban Dictionary gives me, “mother to only boys,” but when used in their example sentence, “Boy mom is an experience, not a description,” I think I am living the boy mom life.

My toddler, on any given day, prefers princess dresses and will fight ’til death (unless it’s tumble tots day) to wear one. Birdie is my little girl and definitely has her girly streak, but I think I am living the boy mom life. Come with me for a moment to defend my theory and present the evidence.

Flatulence Obsession

God Bless America, my child carries her toots as a badge of honor. I hear about it at the dinner table, while bathing as she yells out, “There’s a frog in the tub!” I hear about it in her jokes (thanks Bayly), “How did the duck toot? From his butt quack!” Mamas, we are not talking a little bit, it’s become an issue that needs to be addressed at school. She makes toot sounds and then says, “What was that?” before she inevitably starts laughing and says, “TOOTS!” #boymom

Sizing of Poop

Before I inevitably have to go to the bathroom to help her wipe, I am told, and not quietly, the size of the poop. The range is daddy poop to baby poop. Then the range of stinky. “What’s that bad stink?” Just stick around, she will answer, “MY POOP!” #boymom


This is a relatively new thing, but my toddler thinks belching is the most fun. She also believes it is an acceptable answer to whether or not a meal was good. For example, I picked her up from her little youth group at the church. I knew they had served pizza so I asked, “How was the pizza?” She then forced a belch as she rubbed her belly and said, “mmmmmm.” #boymom

Themed Birthday Party

My child is very vocal about what type of birthday she wanted. This past year, it was a cactus birthday party. I can deal. Then I asked, “What kind of party do you think you would want next year?” I. Should. Have. Never. Asked.

“A poo poo birthday party.” {face palm}

“Birdie, poo poo is not for parties.”

She didn’t say much, but she remembered, and she was waiting to prove me wrong. We were making our regular Target run when she saw it, a poo poo emoji piñata.  She didn’t just tell me she yelled, “Mommy! SEE! POO POO PARTY!” #boymom


Mamas, I don’t know what I am going to do when my pre-teen is grown and my toddler is no longer a toddler. I can not afford their appetite. My husband and I have discussed putting a lock on the outside of the pantry. So. Much. Food. On a regular basis I find the toddler sitting in the pantry with the door closed elbow deep in a canister of baking cocoa. #boymom


If this child is not in a princess dress there is a good chance she’s stripping her clothes off. Supposedly she can’t sit “criss cross applesauce” in her clothes. So it’s really a functional thing, but really, really she just likes to point to her booty and ask you to, “look at my booty. It toots.” #boymom


My Birdie is definitely one of a kind. She’s smart. She’s kind. She’s marching to the beat of her own drum. She’s decked out in a princess dress and obsessed with bodily functions and food. It is an experience, one that research (a simple google search of boy mom experience) would suggest is without a doubt, #boymom.

Girl moms, am I alone here? Are you trying to raise a lady living the boy mom life?


Whitney is a born and raised Louisianian. Her passions lie in playground sports, keeping a messy home (much to the dismay of the husband), drinking lots of caffeine, dancing in the kitchen, getting (well trying to get) her booty in shape, and making people smile. She devotes her time to three things that fall very close to her heart: her little family, her weenie pup, and the urge to never stop creating. She married to a gentlemen that is her opposite. He though a pilot, is firmly grounded while she spends most of her time with her head in the clouds. She is a step-mom and mom of two girls, and finds motherhood is a bizarre dichotomy of grace and chaos. As a family they make life work with amazingly creative grilled cheese sandwiches, streamers, Steen's Syrup, and maybe a bubble bath. Each day she chases paper rainbows and lives the southern narrative.


  1. Gender is a construct. Kids are kids are kids. The gender differences between them are insignificant at this age. #boymom and #girlmom may be hashtags, but they don’t meet the reality that all kids are unique individuals. We need to stop pushing kids in gendered boxes and just let them exist.

    My son likes to paint his nails and his favorite toy is a monster truck. It’s just them learning about the world around them and who they are

  2. I’ll bet she won’t be like this for much longer, if she even still is anymore. Girls may start off thinking their farts are funny, but in elementary school, they will quickly learn otherwise, and by their teens, they will prefer to die than admit to any such thing!!!!!!! It’s all about social conditioning. (PS: that’s why babies start-off looking androgynous, like they could be either gender.)


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