Perspectives in Parenting

I have seen a Facebook post circulating, asking “When did you first experience racism?” Due to #BlackoutTuesday I will be sharing my experience. Here is my story. Junior year prom. I had all the plans made and was ready — pictures at my parents' house with my date/high school boyfriend, then pictures before dinner with a large group of friends, dinner with that same group of friends, prom, after party, then stay at a friend's house with a large group. The night went perfectly until my mother received a call that I and my two black friends could not come over because there was no room for us to sleep. At the time, my mom made it seem like she just...

I can't stand when people say their kids "don't see color" ... that is a privilege my children will never have. My oldest daughter has noticed and been voicing her observations since she was 2 ... Mommy is pink, daddy is brown, she is light brown, and her sister is a little darker than her. The list goes on and on. She started noticing these things at preschool when they started learning about differences and similarities. So even though skin color was always an easy conversation to have, racism was not. I was so scared to talk to my daughters about racism. They are almost 5 and 3.5 years old; I wasn't sure how much they were going to...

It really isn’t police officers versus black men or black people. It really isn’t the NFL versus Colin Kaepernick. These things are just symptoms of the issue at large. The issue is racism and people’s willingness to allow their need for comfort to ignore its very existence. The issue is that when black people openly address what honestly most people agree is wrong behavior, they are met with resistance. I understand the conversation is hard. I get that hearing it when you aren’t actually the culprit seems unnecessary. The thing here is that if you don’t listen, if you refuse to hear the truth in a real way, oppression wins. Silence is the enemy of the suppressed. If you would rather...

My son, Parker, is six years old and has never had a true “boy haircut.” As I write this, I find myself turning to the internet in search of the typical “boy haircut.” These hairstyles range from various fades, undercut, a pompadour, slicked back, buzz cut, crewcut, side part, and short and spiky. My son’s hairstyle does not fall into any of these categories. Parker was a beautiful baby with bright, clear/hazel colored eyes, chubby thighs, and the most pinchable cheeks! My husband and I heard all that time that he was just too pretty to be a boy. He was constantly mistaken for a girl, and as his hair grew, it only got worse. I would brush it off...

In Troubled Families, abuse & Neglect are permitted; it's the talking about them that is forbidden. -Marcia Sorota Here's the thing about goats: they were one of the first animals to be tamed by humans. Here's the thing about a scapegoat: as a child, they cannot understand that they are one. A scapegoat in a family is oftentimes the target of accusations, ostracism, and aggression. They will eventually believe the fault lies with them as they try to "toe the family line" but never measure up.  They typically grow up to be depressed, anxious, internalizers of all blame whether or not its true, or suicidal. They have low self-esteem and are highly sensitive, but they're also justice-seeking and empathic. They know they're...