Pregnancy

Welcome to the club. No one wants to be here. No one ever longs to join. It will make you sick to your stomach. You will spend months in a fog. You’ll wish you never knew. But the choice was never yours. Loss Mamas You’ve heard the words: I’m so sorry, there’s no heartbeat. I’m sorry there’s nothing more we can do. I’m so sorry. Your life is forever changed. Your foundations tremble. Your innocence is lost. You’ve planned a funeral for a child you never met, one you barely knew. You know the horror of a room full of tiny coffins and horrible tiny urns.  You have cried for days at a time. You have seen the darkest darkness. Your arms ache. You’ve been told “I can’t imagine” but...

It was 8:00 on a Friday morning. I arrived on time wearing my mask and sat in the waiting room as I patiently waited for my name to be called. The first ultrasound of a pregnancy is always a little nerve-wracking. You got the positive test(s) at home, but you want that reassurance that your little blob on the screen is doing ok. My husband and I had discussed that it was a bummer that he couldn’t come, but no big deal…. this was our third rodeo. My name was called, and I followed the tech to the first room on the right...it's hard to forget now. Once we were ready to go I asked (even though I already knew...

When I first read Chrissy was having serious pregnancy troubles, my stomach dropped. Because in that moment I wished and prayed for her and baby Jack. But that moment also held the most painful and paralyzing memories I have, rushing in, unwanted, to remind me just how fragile life is. Before the day even started, my phone buzzed, “Trigger warning: Chrissy Teigen lost her baby.” Because this is what loss mamas do. It’s a circle of love and protection that you never knew existed. Our loss and heartbreak forges bonds like no other I’ve experienced. When we were preparing to go in to deliver Constance, I had to reach out to two loss mamas in my life. I had to ask them...

On January 3, 2018 I delivered the most perfect, squishy, nine-pound baby boy right here in Baton Rouge, LA while my husband - his father - was protecting America’s freedom in Africa. I’ll let that sink in for a second.  So, let’s go back just a little. After dating for 6 years, we got married in 2013, six weeks before he was sent to Afghanistan for his first deployment. We were kid-less at this time. I thought this deployment would be the most challenging thing to ever happen to us. When he got home in May 2014, it didn’t take long for us to become pregnant with our first son. He was born on March 29, 2015. Beyond ridiculous morning,...

After losing a child, few things can be done to ease the hurt. Quite frankly, most days all you long to do is pull the covers over your head and waste away another day. For a while, this sufficed after the death of my son. If he couldn't see the day, I didn't want to either. Anna's Grace It took time to discover what brought my heart comfort. One of the most unsuspecting was a donation. The following Spring after losing Weston, my husband and I decided to participate in the annual Anna's Grace Marathon in our community. This particular organization was dear to our hearts. I can still feel the tightness in my throat after hearing this organization wanted to show...