Do you ever have those moments where you are weak, tired, and at the end of your rope? You just need that little boost to get you through the day?
A few days ago, the girls and I were finishing up our last few errands on a very busy day. I was completely exhausted and dreaming about a nap! Emmeline was on day 5 of sleepless nights, Ava was bouncing off the walls, and Daniel had barely been home between working 2 jobs and going to school. While we were heading home, three devastating realizations occurred to me. 1. Emmeline was asleep in her car seat so she would likely not nap once we got home. 2. It was later than I thought, so I shouldn’t put Ava down for a nap if I wanted bedtime to be unaffected. 3. Daniel was working at the fire station, so he would not be coming home to give me a much needed break. Suddenly, in my worn-out state, I became depressed. I didn’t know how I would muster the energy to finish the day. Honestly, I didn’t know how I would muster the energy to just get the girls in the house. It was bad. Just then, in my desperation, a praise and worship song came on the radio. The words seemed to speak to me in the state that I was in and held so much meaning for me in that moment.
As I drove down I-10 towards my house, I just allowed myself to give up all of my depression, exhaustion, and anxiety. And in that moment my “mommy cup” was filled. I felt as though new life had been breathed into me. I was renewed. It wasn’t a long-lasting renewal like a trip to the spa or a girl’s night out but it was just what I needed to make it through until bedtime. I was able to be a patient mommy for the next four hours until the girls were asleep!
My instant renewal is praise and worship music but not everybody’s is. You have to find what works for you and seek those things when you are at your weakest. Maybe it is turning on a cartoon for the kids while you take a hot bath, bringing the kids to a park, or scheduling last-minute play date so you can have some grownup chit-chat. Whatever it may be, you need to find that one thing that will fill your cup, so you make it through those long days. Depression, exhaustion, and anxiety are not a place you want to be; and it is not the place your kids need their mom to be. Being a mom is hard but sometimes realizing we need help is harder.