I Spoke Out, I Will Teach Them to Speak Out

A man dear in my life recently posted this statement:

“Every mother of boys should be terrified that at anytime, any girl can fabricate any story without proof and ruin their lives.”

I was appalled. I was LIVID. I spoke out.

Because here’s the thing, just as we preach to the social media generation, nothing ever disappears. The boys, the men I’ve encountered in life, they leave a mark—good or bad. That creepy friend’s dad that gave me the roving once over? He still haunts me. That boy in middle school that groped me without asking? I still feel his dirty hands. My teacher in high school that held a boy to the wall & all but threatened his life for sexualizing me in class? He is still a hero in me eyes. My husband, who has had to deal with all this baggage? He respectfully walks land mines he didn’t lay.

As a mother, to both sexes, this quotes speaks on many levels. I don’t live in fear that my son would be falsely accused. I don’t even warn him. I speak truth into his life! I teach him respect & living above reproach. I teach him about permission and consent. I teach him that women are to be treated as humans. I don’t allow him to fall victim to the old adage that “boys will be boys.” No, I expect much more from him. You, son, will be good, kind, & just! You will speak for the powerless & fight for those that can’t or don’t feel they can fight for themselves. You will be the difference, the light.

As for my daughters, I will teach them I am always there. I will ALWAYS believe first. I will teach them to trust their gut. I will teach THEM to live beyond reproach. They will know their worth and their voice. I will tell them, they may not talk at first, they may be in shock, or confused, they may doubt themselves—but speaking out is fighting a fight that has been a long time coming. And I will stand by her at every moment. I will teach her to be good, kind, & just. She will speak for the powerless & fight for those that can’t or don’t feel they can fight for themselves. She will be the difference, the light.

trixraney
Trix started her life in Georgia and after bouncing around living in Myrtle Beach, Tahoe City, and Nashville, her (now) husband wrangled her into a life of Bayou living here in Baton Rouge. She’s the mother of four; a vivacious 6 year old, a curly haired 3 year old, their newest dream sleeper a 6 month old, and one sweet babe taken far too soon. She’s well versed in potty humor & innuendos while perfecting the art of sarcasm on the daily. When she’s not busy living the carpool life, complete with yoga pants & coffee she is running her business Rane or Shine Designs.

2 COMMENTS

  1. You miss the point. Even though your boys have been taught to respect women to the highest extent, and may even treat them in such a way, they can STILL be accused of horrible actions. They could never touch a woman and she could accuse them of rape. If we allow accusations without a shred of proof, as we did in the case of Justice Kavanugh, their reputations could be ruined and their lives scrutinized, simply because some woman wanted to get back at them, or wanted to hurt them for some reason, or simply just because she could. I have three girls. I will absolutely teach them to be cautious and to know that if something happens to them, to speak out. Immediately. Not 35 years later when their memories could have been clouded and there is no way to prove their story. I don’t know what really happened 35 years ago with those two. Unfortunately, there is no way to prove it either way because it wasn’t reported and handled when it happened. I will teach my daughters better. I will teach them to report and fight for themselves, and I will back them 100%. They deserve justice and the only way to get justice is to give everyone the opportunity to prove themselves, either innocent or guilty. That doesn’t happen when you wait 35 years to bring up accusations.

    • You’re assuming that Justice Kavanaugh is innocent. If your son gets up to things he shouldn’t, then yes he can and should be accused whether it be now or 35 years later. Kavanaugh is lucky he got 35 free years.

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