It’s Not Just You Anymore

When I first announced I was pregnant and both family and friends knew I was carrying a little girl, they loved randomly saying “well you know it’s no longer about you anymore” or “it’s no longer just you anymore.” This statement usually was thrown around when it came to eating habits or if they thought I was pushing myself too hard while pregnant because they know my body more than me of course. I usually smiled the comments off, rolled my eyes or just gave them the silent treatment because saying nothing at all says so much more sometimes. However, over the past few months, I have come to appreciate this statement and all that it truly means.

Fast forward to a year and a half later since my daughter was born, and I have been approached with a great career opportunity. I always keep my eyes and ears open and accept recommendations when colleagues remember me and want to forward my name along but never am I prowling for a new job. My name and resume were both forwarded along one day and ended up in the hands of the right people for my career. They reached out to me and I immediately started entertaining their questions, their conversations regarding their company background and information, and I went along with several phone interviews. During this time they also explained that this position would require quite a bit of travel. The travel aspect was probably the only thing that gave me pause during this entire experience, but I never once stopped pursuing the opportunity as I needed to see what the exact offer would be. At this time in my experience, I was telling myself “it’s not just you anymore” from a financial perspective; this career opportunity could benefit my family tremendously even if it meant some sacrifice with time due to the traveling.

Several calls, emails, and conversations with the recruiter later and I finally received an offer. The offer technically met all of my requests and expectations, yet I was not as happy as I thought I would be. Could it be because now I literally have to decide to accept the offer or not instead of just dreaming of the offer? Or could it be that thing they call my ‘gut feeling’ telling me that this is not the right time? I spoke with a colleague, who so happens to be a mentor of mine, who gave me some great insight and advice in trying to make this decision. She never once said the exact words “it’s not just you anymore” during our conversation, but she did reference my husband and my family and the phrase “money is not everything” consistently came up throughout our conversation.

And during that conversation, my gut feeling gave me the answer I needed with those five simple words of “it’s not just you anymore.”

While there are several reasons why I did not take the offer, a lot of those reasons revolved around my daughter, my husband, and my family. All of which are things that I could not even put a price on. Making decisions, big or small, are all so different when you have a child and a family. Big decisions, like this one, don’t come up often (at least not in my experience) but making decisions truly is not about just myself any longer. They are now about unselfishly doing what is best for your family and then yourself because family truly does come first.

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