Just Feel Dumb

There’s been a shift in me, a change in my heart. I reach out. I initiate. I reach out every day to my tribe. Only a year ago I built a tribe. My very own tribe.

I hadn’t grown up with the same handful of friends or become besties with college classmates. I was typically the seasonal friend, the friend you needed for a season and move on and stopped needing. And I guess I stopped needing you too.

heartBut, not these ladies that I handpicked that make up MY TRIBE. I chat / text / check in with at least one of them everyday. Because I reach out. They reach out to me too. But it’s easy for me to reach them. They don’t make me feel like too much work or an inconvenience or a burden. They are genuinely interested in MY well being. They don’t answer or respond- no worries, they will when they can. The same as me not providing and immediate response to them.

These are the friends that tell me “I’m not home, but here’s the key, do whatever you need…”

The friends that say “He was a jerk, but so were you, you know what you need to do…”

The friends that offer to take in you plus 3 kids under 6 years old because a storm took out your power for daysss and your husband is a first responder so he’s occupied.

They selflessly offer to cook and care and entertain and listen and cry and laugh.

Sure, it helps that they love my kids and put up with my husband. But I’m their real love; I can show up at their door solo and they won’t be disappointed that I didn’t bring the kids (looking at you grandparents!). They’ll be excited to meet me at the local taco joint and share 2 for 1 margaritas while we take turns reminding all the kids that “THIS is dinner.”

There have been moments that I’ve felt so dumb for needing to call one of them over the stupidest thing that happened (i.e. the time I called because I ALMOST choked, but I actually didn’t, but I still went down the rabbit hole of “how long would it take for another adult to find me choked to death and my kids eating my eyeballs…”). #shoutoutbestie for not telling me I was crayyy.

My point in all of this is to tell you that if you are on the fence and you just feel dumb about it, just reach out. Take the initiative. Just reach out to anybody and feel dumb for that single solitary moment, because it might make the tribe you’ve been dreaming of and longing for and really needing, but you didn’t even know it. And you could miss it, all because you might feel dumb doing it. That single moment of feeling dumb could give you a lifetime of laughs and memories and joy with some truly special people. But nobody can read your mind so just take a tiny baby step and send a text or (gasp!) make a call, invite somebody over for coffee or tea or margaritas. Give yourself permission to feel dumb for just a minute because it will be worth it.


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