Learning To Love Sex And Have More Of It
Being raised in a strict Christian home resulted in a lot of conversations about how to remain pure until marriage. I went to church camps explaining how sex was strictly for marriage, to save myself, etc. Fast forward to years later in a committed relationship … now what? This thing I have been told my entire life is “bad” and “not good for me,” I am suppose to just automatically enjoy??
Thankfully, I have a partner that is continuously willing to explore my sexual desires as well as unpack the emotional uphill that my upbringing brought on. We have spent years learning to love each other physically and emotionally. I can now say that I truly LOVE sex. This took patience from both of us, a few failed attempts, and some laughs thrown in.
I will be the first to admit sex with my husband has not always been a priority.
I had spent the day cleaning up dirty diapers, spit up and toddler funk, the LAST thing I felt was sexy. There were plenty of nights in our past where I just didn’t FEEL like it. It felt like a chore or something that was expected of me. However, as our kids have gotten older, we have really focused more on our relationship. This includes having sex more regularly.
As we began exploring what our relationship would look like now that we are out of the small kid phase and can sneak in date nights sometimes with our oldest babysitting, we realized we had some work to do. First, we needed to date each other again. Rekindle and refocus on each other, what we enjoy, what we want out of our relationship and how we each need to be treated. For us, this was pretty simple. We just set aside time to spend with only each other. Most of this time was after the kids were in bed, we would just close our bedroom door, get off our phones and spend time together.
From there, we brought our exploration into the bedroom. As I have grown to love sex, I have also realized that I am a happier person with more regular sex. There is some relaxation that ONLY comes from an organism.
Rekindling the intimacy has made us both happier people and better parents.
For us, prioritizing sex has been a journey that we are both thankful to have taken. We are more connected inside and outside the bedroom. If this is something that you would like in your relationship, I’d suggest opening up the lines of communications. Read spicy romance novels together. Watch fun, sexy shows (our favorites – Sex/Life and How to Build a Sex Room)! Enjoy this time together – you will be stronger on the other side of it, I promise!