Daughter-in-law/mother-in-law relationships aren’t always the best relationships. I find that there is a lack of communication and a need for control in the relationship with mine. It is a constant struggle to establish my place as the wife and mother of my family. She constantly undermines me and passive-aggressively makes her opinions heard. Here are some things that I feel would help have a better, working relationship.
Don’t come into my house and read the things on my counter! Just because it is on our counter does not make it public reading material. We do not have an office to keep mail, so I keep it in the corner of a mostly unused counter in our kitchen and most of our company never notices it. It is none of your business. Don’t make comments about how clean (or dirty) the house is. I do my best to keep a tidy home; my kids also do their best to make sure it looks like I don’t. Some days are better than others and it’s something I don’t need pointed out to me.
When you come over, don’t make passive-aggressive comments about my kids’ clothes. So what if they are still in pajamas? My house, my laundry. If they are cool in jammies, so am I!
Please don’t tell me I look tired. I know I look tired, you know why? BECAUSE I AM TIRED! I am running a household full of a never-ending to-do list. I stay up two hours after everyone goes to bed, and I’m up an hour before everyone else in the mornings. I. AM. TIRED!!!
Don’t tell my kids they can do something that I’ve already said no to. I’m doing my best to be consistent with my kids and tell them something and hold them to it. When you come over, they feel like they have a free pass because they know you will let them do it. I’m trying to raise decent humans one day, and it would help A LOT if you were on my side more.
Don’t show up unannounced. It’s rude! You wouldn’t do that to a friend and the only reason you do it here is because it’s your son’s house and you’re his mother. I’m his wife and this is OUR house, please let us know before you plan on coming (then maybe I can hide the mail)!